The Forbidden Love
by Freakofnature102
Summary: Kanda & Allen are finally beginning a relationship together but Fate seems on tearing them apart. They face against other and their own actions that seem to rip the seams of their new relationship. Can they keep it together? Slowly being rewritten.
1. Chapter 1

_**So come on move your hips singing Wah-ah-ah**_

_**Look at you two clips do it; La-la-lah**_

_**You and me can sing this melody**_

_**Dance to the beat, wave your hands together**_

_**Come feel the heat forever and forever**_

_**Listen and learn, it is time for prancing**_

_**Now we are hear with Caramell-**_

"Okay, okay! I got it! Phone call. Shut up now, will you?" Allen called out to his phone, jogging out of the bathroom with only a towel adorning his waist, "Blasted phones." He grumbled as he picked it up and read the caller ID.

"Hello Jerry. This is Allen." He began in an overly polite voice.

"_Allen! Allen my sweetheart! How are you?" _the older, yet feminine man called out to him.

"Oh, I am just fine. Pleasant really. I was just getting ready for work," Allen laughed lightly and started to make his way back to the bathroom; getting slightly annoyed that his wet hair was sticking to his face and the back of his neck.

"_Ah, yes. About that Allen. You see…" _Jerry trailed off into a mumble but that didn't stop Allen from smiling as he grabbed another towel, something about talking on the phone while naked bother him immensely, and ruffled his hair.

"Did he ask you out on another date?" Allen inquired politely. At the lack of response he got back the short, white haired boy let out a soft chuckle, "Well good for you Jerry. Have a nice night!"

"_Yes yes! I will! Oh thank you Allen! Thank you so much for understanding! I will see you next weekend then?" _

"You're very welcome Jerry. Yes…yes next weekend it is. Have a nice-

"_Oh before I forget, how are you and Kanda?" _

Three things happened at once. Allen's towel fell from the grasp in his hands, his stomach let out a loud growl, and the young boy was frozen.

"_Ah…sorry for asking then. Well see you next weekend! Ta-ta for now!" _

With a frown I looked at my phone and set it on the counter next to me, reaching down to grab my fallen towel and drying my hair to the best of my abilities.

How are me and Kanda? That bloody bastard that is hellbent on making my life as horrible and utterly…hell as long as he lives on it.

_That's the reason you do it don't you? To see if he will notice. And if he cares enough to stop you._

Shaking his head a little; Allen tugged on his boxer-briefs before sliding on his pants. Forgoing the shirt he walked out into the kitchen and yanked open the fridge seeing what was in there at the moment.

A gleeful smile found his face as he pulled out some dangos and looked over and grabbed a few cookies from the cute little kitten cookie jar he had bought years before. Sighing happily at the food he dug in, not holding back as the food was all but inhaled by the young British boy.

_Ah…what should I do today…I did realize that I need some more food. Maybe I should call Lenalee or Lavi to see if they have anything planned. Dear, this shall be a boring day if I have nothing to do! Wish I went to work. At least it was something. _

Once finished, Allen looked around wildly for his phone, even going as far as to look for it in the fridge. Huffing he walked back across the apartment and into his bathroom to see the sleek black smart phone staring back at him from the clean bleach white countertops. Rolling his silver eyes he reached for it when his eyes landed on it.

Long and sleek handle with a broad bar across the top. The metal shined brightly and seemed to be screaming, "Use Me!" and the boy. Biting his lip, Allen grabbed his phone and quickly unlocked it, shooting a quick text to Lavi about if he wanted to eat lunch with him in a couple hours before he shoved the device in his front pocket and snatched up the razor, sitting on the toilet seat. Reaching behind him with his free head, he grabbed a black towel and the disinfectant; along with some bandage wrap that he had stolen from Kanda.

Rubbing his arm with a corner of the black towel that was coated with the disinfectant Allen looked at his milky pale skin that was marred with silver-ish scars that slashed across. With a little rub of the towel on the razor, Allen held his breath and positioned the razor. He shivered slightly when the cold and slightly wet metal touched his skin. Taking a large breath and tightening the grip on the razor's handle; the blade was dragged quickly across his arm before it fell out of his grasp and onto the floor where blood droplets were gathering.

With a self-satisfied sigh, Allen's silver pools stared at the red liquid that bubbled up to his fair skin, creating a beautiful contrast to it. Looking at himself bleed did indeed get rather tiring, so after a couple minutes or so, Allen finally began to clean up, wiping up all the blood from the floor and his arm before wrapping the bandages snugly around the wound. Luckily for him it was spring time. So the weather was nice, but still had the biting chill that winter leaves every year.

After he was done cleaning up and erasing all evidence that such an event happened in the first place, Allen nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone, which remained in his pocket, blared out Lavi's ringtone.

_**Screaming echoes in the sky,**_

_**Oh look someone just died**_

_**Hey good job Mr. Creeper**_

_**The town ignores**_

_**What happens**_

_**They live in fear**_

_**Of the Creepy murder**_

_Moyashi!_

_Of course I would LUV 2 join u 4 lunch! Whn n where? :D_

_~Loveable Usagi_

Allen laughed softly and worked his way into his room, opening his closet door with his good arm, while the other held his phone; fingers typing out a reply with amazing speed.

_Oh that's great! I don't have any work today, it got canceled, so I'm free and you know what I like. Whatever is fine with me Lavi. _

_~CrownedClown_

Barely managing to get his shirt on, the phone rang again, causing the wounded child to glare at the appliance with utter hatred. Bending down to pick it up, he forgot that some movement, such as using his whole arm and not just his fingers, in fact did bring a lot of pain shooting up his arm.

_Well imma just head ovr ther n we cn figure it out thn. C u in a bit, Al! :)_

_~Loveable Usagi_

Letting out a low sigh, Allen finished getting dressed and turned up the heater to a more acceptable level before unlocking the door. He had just turned away and was a safe distance from the entrance when it flung open.

"Moyashi!" a loud, tall, red head hollered at the smaller boy, scooping him up into Lavi's muscular arms and swinging him around, placing a wet open mouth kiss on Allen's cheek.

"Oh bloody hell, Lavi! That's disgusting!" Allen wiggled helplessly in Lavi's arms. With an annoyed huff he stopped struggling and hung limp in the older boy's hold.

"Aw, but you love it, don't ya Al?" the red head laughed lightly, setting the Brit back on his feet, "So food. What ya wanna eat Allen?"

With a shrug, Allen gently pulled at his clothes, smoothing them from the wrinkled Lavi and caused when he picked up the boy.

When he looked up, a deep frown was etched into the older boy's face, "Um…you okay Lavi?" he smiled warmly up and the boy, "oh, we could go for that Japanese place that is down the way. Heard from a couple of coworkers it was pretty good."

Lavi narrowed his eyes and looked Allen over. With a sigh he grinned good naturedly and tossed Allen his eyes and pulled open the door, "To that place it is then. It's on me Al buddy!"

"You did it again, didn't you?"

"D-did what? Lavi what are you blabbering about?" Allen fiercely whispered to his friend, gray eyes narrowed.

"Your arm. It hurts. I can tell Allen," Placing his fork down, Lavi met Allen's gaze with hurt filled eyes, "Don't hide these things from me."

"I…I know Lavi…but it's not something I think should be announced every damn time," Allen grumbled lowly, eating at a much slower rate, "Sure, it's his bloody fault, the twit, but it isn't like…" Frowning, Allen stuffed more food, which was pasta, into his mouth to stop him from talking anymore.

Reaching over, Lavi ruffled his younger friend's hair and smiled knowingly, "Got it, Brit. I understand perfectly!" His smile morphed into a grin and he began to eat again, not wanting to glance up to see the other boy shoveling food into his mouth like he would never get another bite ever again. It made him sick to his stomach. Made him wonder what Allen did to keep his body weight so low. Hell the guy barely weighed 115 lbs and he was already 24!

With a clank, both Lavi and Allen set their forks and knives down.

Smiling brightly, Allen stretched briefly as he yawned out, "Thanks for the meal Lavi!"

When the check was paid the two of them walked into the sunlight and out into Lavi's car.

"I'm gonna take you home, okay Al? Gramps needs me in a few hours to help out with the shop and such."

"Hmm…okay…" with another yawn Allen closed his eyes as Lavi ignited the engine and sped off back to the white haired boy's humble adobe. Which he shared with none other then Kanda Yuu, but that was just a small price to pay for such a nice place.

"Yes, bye Lavi. Have a nice day!" Allen waved as he walked away from the stalling car and up to his room.

Heaving a long sigh, Allen stripped down to his boxers and crawled under his pale blue covers, where he promptly fell asleep.

"…len…Moyashi…beansprout…" a smooth voice called out to the sleeping boy.

Mumbling Allen shifted, "Ah…please…5 more minutes…" he grumbled, still deep within the clutches of sleep.

The mattress dipped ever so slightly and Allen felt another body lie next to his. With a sleepy smile, his silver orbs peeked open and gazed at the devilish beauty that looked back at him.

Long ebony hair was spread out like a halo around his head, his deep and cold midnight blue eyes looking far into Allen's soul.

"Move over." His harsh tone and words cut through Allen like a knife, but he welcomed it all the same. With that same sleepy smile on his lips Allen complied to his wishes.

As soon as he shifted over, his warm body laid flat against the cold part of the mattress. With a high whine, Allen pressed his shivering body against the person beside him and inhaled his scent as strong arms wrapped around his back grudgingly.

Chilled hands ran down his naked chest and curled in between their chest to warm them up quicker.

"What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?" he grumbled.

"Hm…staying warm…why? Got a problem…" Allen yawned widely and closed his eyes, "…Kanda?"

With a groan and an over exaggerated huff, Kanda hugged the frail and, unknown to him, injured boy against his chest and fell asleep along with him.

A/N: CHRIST. Okay. Dudes. I'm alive. And trying to STAY on this story. I don't write stories much anymore but I have a vague idea of where this goes. No Kanda and Allen are not together. And NO that is not a dream or anything. So yeah. Think whatever you wanna think. :3 sorry I come back and dropped off the fucking grid. But when I write I wanna make sure it is GOOD so I didn't like what I tried out here. So I worked on my writing, I still am, but I deemed this piece alright. I think most of what I write is BETTER but you know…improvement. So yeah. Sorry guys. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews you guys. It made my day. And I noticed I didn't put a disclaimer…I was only writing this for fun but my friend said I should put it on here. So…here I am!

Allen: Allora-chan doesn't and never will own D gray man.

Allora: thanks Allen! And Kanda…no wait…Lavi you can do the warning.

Lavi: OK! So warning, this chapter has emo-ness in it. Allen-chan…emo-ness! *cries* Allora how could you!

Allora: I had too! Goodness. Calm down.

Allen: *crying* I am a emo person!

Kanda's POV

_Ugggh…why the fuck does my head hurt? What was I doing? Ok…what the fucking did I do last night? I got fired…shit. Well, that is so not good. Then the baka usagi somehow found me! Came back for some break. Wanted to see Moyashi I guess. …oh. He took me for drinks. Shit shit shit! What happened after that? Ok ok…calm down. I came home. Allen poked me…stupid Beansprout. Then…I don't know…something happened. Ugh, maybe I will remember later. Is it still night time? I can't see anything…wait. Well that is because my fucking eyes are closed. Heh. _

My eyes flew open and I regretted it immediately. Groaning I looked around the room. Why in hell was I on the couch? Looking down I felt something slip off my arm. A fucking blanket. Ump. Must have been Allen. After the sudden brightness had faded and I got used to the light I saw I a clump of white hair. Looking closer I found it was Allen. _Why is he sleeping on the floor with no blanket? _ Sighing I got up and laid the blanket previously on me on him. Walking to the kitchen I got some tea and sat down at the table. After finishing I put everything back and wiped down the counters. Strolling toward my room I grabbed Mugen and went to the gym.

Allen's POV

Groaning I rolled over and wrapped the warm thing around me.

"Get the fuck off of me."

Eyes opening and scurrying backwards I starred at Kanda.

"W-what are you doing in my room?" I asked.

"Che. You were on the floor so I dragged you to your room. Now get off of me. Now." Kanda growled. Blushing I let go of his arm.

"Sorry." I mumbled softly.

Getting off my bed I walked into the kitchen to have a small breakfast. Making coffee I made 3 pieces of toast, just to start. By the end of breakfast I had had, along with my toast, was 5 bowls of cereal, two 5 batch pancakes, three cups of coffee, and some handmade crepes. Gathering the plates of my small yet good breakfast I got to work on rinsing them off before putting them into the dishwasher. Putting in Finish (dishwasher cleaner) I started the dishwasher and walked out of the kitchen. I ran into Kanda on my way to take a shower. It was already noon and I had to go to shopping for the week.

"Neh, Kanda?" I called out.

"What the fuck do you want Moyashi?" was the harsh reply.

"Well no need to be rude!" I spat out, "I was just wondering if you wanted to go get food with me. I saw that you were running out of soba."

"Che. Guess I have no choice then hmm? Better get in the shower then _Moyashi_."

"That is what I am doing _Bakanda!_" I screamed. We stood there waiting for something. "Kanda? Do you remember last night?" I really didn't want to know the answer. I was still sore…I hoped that he did but I knew he probably.

"…No. Why do you know what happened last night?"

"Um…no not really…you fell asleep." _Wow. That was the worst lie I have ever told. He won't believe that. _

"Che. Whatever."

…_And he bought it…well. That takes care of a lot of stuff. Just not my feelings. Shit._

Giving him a nod I walked past him and into the bathroom. Turning the shower to full blast I rested my head against the tile wall. _He doesn't remember. He hates you. You hate him. But it felt so good. No! It didn't! I never wanted that. Ever! _ I sobbed silently and slowly cleaned the rest of my body. Getting out I saw there was tears trails down the side of my face. Crying harder I thought of something to take the pain away. Reaching back into the shower I pulled out my razor and looked at my deformed arm. All black and rough to the touch. But it hurts more than anything when I injure it. _Perfect_ I thought. Raising up my arm I took the razor and cut a clean path up the side of my arm all the while gritting my teeth in pain. I suddenly let go the sharp object and watched as the dark red blood flowed freely to the surface and down my fingers. I curled up into a ball leaving my arm to bleed and continued to cry. I gradually lost my hearing as I tuned out the world and wallowed in self-pity. Damn Kanda. Damn the pain. Damn my feeling. Damn this world. I recall hearing a faint knock telling me to get out here but I didn't reply. The voice went away. I let out a choked sob when I saw the pool of blood that was forming beneath my arm. I lifted my bloodied arm up a bit wincing at the pain and put it back down. More sobs raked my body and I fall into a fitful and restless sleep. I woke up to a loud bang on the door.

"Moyashi get the fuck out of the bathroom before I go and drag your ass out myself!" I heard Kanda yell.

Crying I replied, "NO! Go away! Bakanda! I-I…I HATE YOU!"

A tense silence filled the space between us.

"Allen…Moyashi…are you ok?" a voice filled with worry asked me. If I didn't know that only Kanda was standing by my door I would have thought it to be a totally different person.

I sniffed, "Just go away Bakanda!" I tried to lift my arm again but put it down quickly so he didn't hear my small cry of pain.

But luck was against me and he heard. Hearing him give a sigh he said softly, "Allen, I am coming in." without waiting for a reply he opened the door and starred at me. His gaze flickered between my tear-streaked face, the bloody razor on the sink and the trail of blood that ended in the pool of blood under and on my arm.

"K-kanda…" I swiftly moved my arm from his view crying out in pain. His gaze found me once again.

"Baka! Why did you do this! What were you thinking? You could…pass out from lack of blood and then I would have a body to clean up?"

That's Kanda alright. Only cared for the mess I made and the trouble I brought him. Tears filled my eyes threatening to overflow soon. _God! I am such a baby. Crying over pain like this. This is nothing! Nothing compared to before. This is mere child's play compared to what I did before. So why am a crying? _ A warm substance wrapped around my frail body and carefully lifted me off the floor. Whimpering in pain I tried to cling onto the strong body but it proved to be to difficult and hurt me even more than just lying there. I felt his chest rise and fall as he breathed and the small bounce in his step as he walked down the dark hall to my bedroom. He shifted me in his arms so he could throw the door open. With unknown softness he laid my back on my bed. Everything became too much. The pain. The deep rooted sadness in my heart. The look in Kanda's eyes that made my heart swell and most of my entire mind telling mw that I can never be his. He is never going to be mine. Tears filled my eyes once again and I began to cry. Through my fuzzy tear filled eyes I saw Kanda slowly walk closer to my bed and sit down quietly. He watch me for a while as the tears streamed down my face. Reaching down he cautiously raised me from the bed and gave me a tender almost loving hug.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you Moyashi but if it helps you can cry now. I don't mind," he rubbed my back in a circular motion, "it is going to be Ok, I am here."

Heart overflowing with sadness and pain I let out a suppress sob. Many more followed suit. My tears left stains on Kanda's shirt and the soothing motion on my back never ceased. Crying what seemed like a years worth of tears I felt exhausted. I went limp in Kanda's arm and was drifting into sleep when I felt him lay me back down. He tried to pull my uninjured hand off his tear-stained shirt but my grip tightened.

"Stay," I rasped out, throat dry from all the crying, "stay with me…please." I heard him give a sigh and the bed shifted under his bed. I turned on my side. And snuggled against him. He stiffened under my touch but soon relaxed as he too began to fall into a sleep filled with dreams and nightmare. A place, in my mind, where I can at least be with him. A place were most of my dreams come true. And I hopped that I never woke up. I never what to go back. Before I lost myself completely to sleep I ran my nails along the dried blood scraping it off and letting new blood flow. I closed my eyes and hopped I would never woke up. I wanted to stay in my dream for eternity. So I could be with Kanda forever. With no trouble. If only that happened.

A/N: told you it was emo-ish. Sorry bout that. All my emotions just come out in my stories…so if I had a good day there will be humor if something depressing happened…well it becomes emo. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have fun writing it. I plan to update soon and hope you leave wonderful reviews! Either nice ones or ones that tell me to write better I don't care. A review is a review!


	3. Chapter 3

OK! I say thxs to the review and hope I replied to everyone -_-. Hope you like the story!

(There will be no more 'disclaimers' from me. If I owned d gray man…do you THINK I would be here? No. I wouldn't.)

Allen's POV

I was rudely awakened by a sharp sting in my arm.

"Gah!" I sat up only to be pushed by down.

"Stay down Moyashi. I am trying to help you." grunted Kanda.

Obeying his order I looked at what he was doing. I shivered in fear. What I saw was my arm, laid across the bed under a pure white towel, soaked in blood. Kanda looked over and caught the aim of my stare.

"It's fine Moy- Alle- Moyashi. I cleaned most of it off. This is just water."

Glancing back at my arm I saw it was in an almost flat bowl. I began to lift my arm out of the water but found I was unable to do so. _Now that I think about it…the only pain I felt was when I woke up. I can't feel anything now._ A panicked look crossed my face.

"K-kanda?" I whimpered out of fear.

"What is wrong now?" I heard him sigh.

A large shiver passed though my body, "I can't feel my arm." I stated as calmly as I could. And that wasn't very calm considering as soon as I said that I look of horror found its way into Kanda's eyes. Yep his eyes. His face stayed emotionless. But I found that it was only his eyes that showed how he really felt no matter what he said.

"Well, I guess I will have to call that one girl's brother…what's his name?"

A minuscule smile lit up my face, "Lenalee's Nii-san? Koumi?"

"Whatever Moyashi. Just get some more rest." He gently removed my arm from the bowl of bloody water and walked away. Reaching over I manage to grab the hem of his shirt and tugged at it.

"What?" he asked clearly annoyed.

"Can you stay with me again?" I pleaded in my softest voice possible.

"Che. Fuck no. That ain't gonna happen. In your dreams Moyashi." Pulling his shirt free of my loose grip he stalked out the door and shut it with a loud slam. Frowning I leaned back thinking. I was never going to cut myself again. I hopped that at least. I knew I was never good at keeping promises. Sighing I closed my eyes hopping to get some sleep. Maybe this time I wouldn't wake up. Or maybe this was just a dream and right now I am in bed with Kanda after we just had sex. _Pft. Yeah. In your fucking dreams. Idiot. That guy hates your guts. If he could he would throw you outside and tell you to never come back. So why do you have feeling for him? He hates you and you know he can never be yours. He most likely has a girlfriend that he fucks on a daily basis. _I shivered. I had forgotten about my evil subconscious. Most of the time it stays away unless I was really stress out or depressed. Which would be now. Grunting in discomfort I shifted slightly frowning when I still couldn't feel my arm. I willed myself to sleep knowing it would come sooner or later. Sooner better than later. And before I knew it I was falling fast asleep.

"Hmm. He…act…listen….is he….are you sure…..then if…works…..his arm…..lost…..good." I moaned loudly and blinked into awareness.

"Hey, Allen-chan. How are you feeling?" asked an overly happy doctor, and friend.

"Not to good as you can see," I gestured to my ugly and numb arm, "can you fix it? Without removing it from my body?"

Koumi frowned, "I can try but I have never done something likes this before. It might save your arm but have massive side effects."

I thought about what he had just said. He could save my arm but with some cost. Did I want this cost? _Hell yeah! I want this. No matter what. I have to keep both arms. _

I looked back at Koumi and starred straight at him, "I don't care about the side effects. Just save my arm." Koumi nodded and said something about going back home to do some research. I barely heard him for Kanda was glaring at me with his midnight blue eyes.

"Yes?" I answered to his unasked question.

"Why did you cut yourself?"

I blushed. I didn't want to show his all my other scars. He saw them before…but he was drunk. And drunken people don't care about who they are fucking. Or what they are doing. So it didn't count. But I knew he deserved a good answer. Not some bullshit I pulled out of my magical hat.

"Do you really want to know?" I didn't want this to happen but if he wanted it I would comply.

"Fuck yeah. Why else would I be asking?" snapped Kanda.

"Fine, fine, no need to get your panties in a bunch." I sat up and removed my long sleeved shirt and my gloves.

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise. I would be too if I saw my body. Scars were **everywhere**. They marked my torso and danced up and down my arms and hands.

"What the fuck Moyashi?"

I grimaced, "Are you disgusted too?"

His eyes flashed back to my worried ones, "No." he walked over to my bed and grabbed my not injured arm and brought it to his lips. Starting at my hand he kissed his way up my arm and back down. Letting go of my arm it flopped back down uselessly. Starring at my toned stomach he began to kiss me there too. At first they were feather light kisses but soon became hot kisses leaving a line of saliva and heat behind. Gripping the sheets I let out a small almost inaudible moan. My hand let go of the abused sheet and tangled itself in Kanda's silky hair. Tugging roughly on his hair he stopped and starred at me eye level. I blushed strongly and hesitantly brought my lips to his. I gasped as I felt him push back with a strength I didn't know he could possess. I moaned when I felt a warm tongue on my lips. He opened his mouth and caught my bottom lip in his. Sucking none too gently I moaned and opened my mouth too pulling my lip from his. Another moan ripped its way through my throat as he stuck his tongue in my mouth. It was so good. It felt amazing! It explored my mouth and after gaining some courage I moved my own tongue slightly brushing against his. I heard a grunt from Kanda and moved my tongue some more. Soon we were in an all out war with our tongue, which I lost to. Submitting to him I rested my head back letting him crawl over my and stratel my hips. All too soon I had to part for air. Panting I looked over at Kanda. With that one look we both knew we wanted this. Smirking I lifted my hips upward rubbing against his need. Hissing he glared at me before going to attack my neck. My useable hand once again found his hair and grabbed it and began to pant and moan. He suddenly bit down on my pulse and I screamed in pleasure. Gasping I begged for more. Hearing a grunt in reply I decided he was doing all the work and I wasn't doing anything. Lifting my hips again I rubbed harder against Kanda earning a sharp hiss and a small moan before he bit down on my shoulder. I cried out in agony and bliss I pulled him up for another kiss. I opened my mouth and sighed as he shoved his tongue in and ground down on me. I shrieked and pulled his closer. I tried to undress him but with only one arm it was almost impossible. Sensing my struggle he sadly released my lips and gazed down at me almost lovingly. Blushing I looked down. Hears a short chuckle I saw his finger reach for his own shirt. Looking up I stared in awe at how fast he was able to remove his shirt from his torso. My hand moving with a mind of its own I ran my fingers over his eight packs. Blushing I quickly removed them laying my arm back down. Suddenly my hand was back on Kana's chest. My eyes quickly flashed back to his then to my hand. It was held there by Kanda's against his heart. I focused on the beat of his heart and smiled. _Huh. The bastard __does__ have a heart. Who would've thought? _I leaned upward place a chaste kiss on his hand. Moving back down I rested my head against the bed feeling a wave of tiredness sweep over me. Against my will I let out a huge yawn.

"S-sorry Kanda." I blushed. I didn't want to ruin the moment but I was tired. My bare stomach let out a long growl. I laughed.

"Umm…I guess I am hungry too." Kanda moved off me, much to my displeasure and helped me get off the bed. We slowly walked through the dark hallway and to the kitchen. Opening the fridge I saw all we had was soba. Sighing I picked on up ignoring the scowl that was set on Kanda's face. Warming it up via microwave I turned around and burrowed my face in his chest. "Sorry I ruined the moment." I murmured into his chest.

"Che," huffed Kanda, "don't worry bout it. I will make you suffer when you get both your arms in use again."

Blushing I realized it was my fault. That I could use my arm I mean. Peeking up and Kanda I blushed, "Sorry. This is entirely my fault. You must be doing this out of pity." Tears welled in my eyes but I forced them back. I think I have cried enough this week. I was roughly pushed back. Stumbling I heard the microwave ring. _Saved by the bell, or ring. Good._ Turning around I went to grab the handle to yank the door open but an abrupt force hauled me backward.

"Fucking Moyashi. If I didn't want this do you think I would be doing this?" I heard Kanda whisper in my ear.

"I don't know. It was all my fault…"

"Allen…_my_ Moyashi, I…I never…really…" seeing Kanda struggle for words I giggled.

"It's ok Kanda. I am the only one here. I won't tell a soul."

"…IeverreallyhatedyouAllen." He blurted in one breath.

I full blown laugh erupted from my mouth.

"I never hated you either Kanda," I leaned into his touch, "I had a really big crush on you." I blushed when I realized what I had just said.

"Heh. Figures the Moyashi liked me." I heard the smirk in his voice. Rolling my eyes I gave a half-hearted glare before stepping out of his backward hug and went to get my food before my stomach made itself known again.

"Yeah yeah whatever Kanda. Just go eat something too. I can tell your hungry." I left the room to go eat my very small meal. Soon after Kanda joined me and we ate together in a comfortable silence. I gathered our dishes and put them in the sink making a mental note to empty the dishwasher the next day. I grabbed my PJ's and went into Kanda's room where I had planned to sleep. I walked into the bathroom and changed slowly and with difficultly. Growling in annoyance I wrenched open the door to see Kanda lying there without a shirt. Crawling up to him I pulled the cover to mid-chest and snuggled beside Kanda falling into a warm and dreamless sleep and wishing that for once I would wake up with the man I loved next to me. Wishing that for one day I would be happy. And wishing that I could stay by him no matter what happen. I felt a soft kiss on my hair before I finally slipped into what was one of the best nights of my night. _This so makes the top of my 'Best Days with Kanda' list…well…it is the only good day with Kanda…so far._

A/N: yep…no lemon. Hehe! I am evil! Ha-ha! No but I don't want them…what is the point of them finding out they like each other and then bang the other senseless? No point what so ever. I plan on there being a lemon….at one point. XD so I hope you like it. And! Do you see the lovely looking review button? Click it. Now. Please? I know you don't want to…I never really liked to review. XD but now I know how it feels to have someone leave a review. No matter how mean it is. Just give me some feedback! Kk? So….are you gonna click it? You better!

(I am also looking for a beta! If you want to PM me and I can see tht. But…I really don't feel the NEED to have one…unless you think I need it. Then just tell me. And how to contact you…cuz I have no clue how this beta thing works. Thxs)

~Allora!

Hint for Ch4: Lavi….and Komui.


	4. Chapter 4

Allen's POV

Yawning I scooted closer to the warm body next to me. Somewhere in my mind I knew it was Kanda but right now I just knew it as the warm body that was making me fall back into the sleep I didn't want to lose. I made a sound of protest when said body shift and moved away from me. I moved toward the body till I found it. Making a hum of happiness I fell back into sleep….

Just to be woken roughly by the warm body next to me.

"Oi! Wake the fuck up Moyashi. Koumi is coming over here in the next hour and then baka usagi is taking you…_us_…out to lunch. So wake up!" with a hard shove my eyes snapped open and I glared at Kanda.

"Ok! I am up! Happy? Goodness. Picky bastard." I grumbled walking to the bathroom to take my shower. I halted when I realized what happened the last time. Kanda seemed to know why I stopped and walked up to me.

"If you want to we could take a shower together. I…I promise not to do anything you don't want." he sighed as I nodded and we both walked into the bathroom.

Stripping ourselves of the clothes we were wearing I turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. I looked back at the now naked Kanda I tried to hide my shock. Damn he was…um…he was huge! I shudder at how that was going to fit. I walked over the shower and stepped it letting the hot water gently hit my face and run down my pale stomach. I faintly heard Kanda step in after me but paid no attention. Only when I felt a slimy substance run_ up_ my back did I shriek in shock. Glancing backwards I saw it was Kanda running his tongue up and down my back. I gave a sweet smile.

"I like to be washed with soap." I said in a sickly sweet voice.

Grumbling he reached for the soap and soothingly washed my back. When he was done I rinsed off my back as I washed his own. I wanted to wash his hair but being the girl that he sometimes is I didn't dare too. But he did wash mine. It was astounding. His hands knew exactly where I want to be rubbed and scratched. Too soon I knew we had to get out and get ready for our day. Sighing I turned off the shower and grabbed the spare towel in the room. Drying off and putting a good amount of lotion on I tugged my clothes one and left the bathroom leaving Kanda to fix his hair. Eating my breakfast I heard the door bell ring. Walking to the door I opened it quickly and jumped out of the way, so I wouldn't end up on the ground.

"Allen-CHAN! ~" Koumi sang as he walked, more like ran, in.

"Hello Koumi-san," I greeted with a smile, "you find something for my arm?"

"Ah yes about that. May we talk? I need to speak to Kanda about this as well."

Frowning I nodded and called across the house, "Kanda! Get your fine ass out here! Koumi wants to talk to us! It's about my arm!"

"Shut the fuck up Moyashi! I can hear you just fine! No need to yell." said a voice closer than I thought. Jumping a foot in the air I spun around facing Kanda.

"Hm. Sorry about that. Come on. Let's sit and talk about this." I grabbed Kanda's hand not really caring that Koumi could see us. Sitting us both down on the couch I sat close to Kanda for support.

"OK Koumi spill." said Kanda.

"Ok. So I believe I have found something that could give your arm back its feeling…but…."

"It's ok Koumi-san. Tell us." I said gently but latched onto Kanda's arm. He gave me a small grin.

"But…like I said before I do not know the side effects. All I can tell you is that you will not die from this. Or get very sick. I made sure of that."

I nodded my head, "So how long will it take to get the medicine in me?"

"Oh! We can do that right now. Give me your arm…or just…stay there." He grabbed a pink-ish purple liquid and stabbed the needle into my arm. Almost immediately I cried out in pain and shock. Koumi removed the needle and looked at me and my arm closely.

"If anything happens you have to tell me. Ok? I don't want something bad to happen to you because of this," he said glumly. I nodded, "Ok. I understand. Is that all?" I said politely.

"Oh…oh. Yes that is all. Have a good day Allen-chan!" he skipped out the door and drove away.

Kanda let out a sigh, "One idiot down one to go." He stated glumly. I laughed. It was true. Lavi was an idiot too. But he was one of my best friends so I dealt with him.

_Ding dong….ding dong..Ding dong. Ding d-ding-ding-ding_

"OK OK! Calm the fuck down!" screeched Kanda walking toward the front door. I heard the door loudly protest at being yanked open so fast, a habit Kanda had yet to shake.

"YUU-CHAN! ~" said a loud and overly-happy voice. I shivered. I hated opening the door when Lavi came over…it was just weird. Always glomping me and making weird remarks that I had no clue what he was talking about.

_Poor poor Kanda…I hope Lavi survives._ I thought.

"Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me. Right. Now. Fucking baka usagi." I winced at the harshness in Kanda's voice. Walking over to the foyer to greet Lavi, I placed my now working hand on Kanda's back patting it softly. Growling he put his sword, Mugen, away. Smiling I turned to Lavi.

"Good afternoon, Lavi!" I greeted with a huge grin on my face. Before I knew it Lavi had rushed over and squeezed me against his chest.

"Neh Moyashi-chan," he said into my hair, "I…I love you…"

I tensed. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I was going out with Kanda. Looking up I saw a slight teasing light in his eyes. _Really Lavi? Are you trying to scare me?_ I screamed at him…in my head. I don't really scream or yell…only at Kanda. Thoughts back on the one I thought I loved I looked at him…and…yep. Lavi was going to be dead. Well, if looks could kill. I gave Kanda a glare of my own and turned back to Lavi pushing his away.

"Where are we going to go eat?" I asked.

"A buffet!" shouted Lavi. Not that surprising. It was Lavi. Grinning like an idiot (I assure you I am not an idiot) I grabbed Kanda's hand, not noting the shocked look Lavi sent me. But Kanda did. Yanking his hand from mine he stalked past me and called, "Let's go. But Lavi," he looked over his shoulder, "if they don't have soda I will castrate you." With that said he walked into the car and stopped. I did too. I mean…Lavi wasn't poor but I never thought him to be rich!

"Umm, Lavi? What is this? Is this yours?"

"Oh! Yeah…I never told you, but I am rich!

I glared at him, "Really? I didn't notice. I thought the black limo was a fake." I said sarcastically.

"Moyashi-chan! Don't be mean!" whined Lavi, "I never told you because I wanted to be a normal student in college." He gave a very cute pout. Not able to stay mad at Lavi for long periods of time I gave a small smile.

"It's ok Lavi. I don't care that you are rich. But I would have never treated you different. Promise." I looked back at the car. It wasn't that…flashy looking. But if you looked close enough, you could tell that a rich, or semi-rich, person owned this car. And plus there was a driver.

"Hey! Baka usagi. Who is the person in the front?" Kanda asked roughly.

"That's my driver…who is fucking HOT!" said Lavi.

"Hot? I never knew you were gay Lavi. I thought you only liked girls." I was confused. The Lavi I knew never would say a guy was hot. Only girls. And every time he saw a hot or cute girl, including the first time he met Lenalee, all he would say was what I call his trademark saying, **"STRIKE!" **

"Yeah…there were some pretty hot guys in France and Italy let me tell you that. So…I think I can classify myself as Bi now. And starting with my driver, Tyki Mikk." stated Lavi matter-of-factly.

"Che. How long are we going to stay here gawking at the fucking car? I am ready to go get some fucking soba." Kanda snapped at us. Turning to look at him I gave a death glare that could rival Kanda's and began to walk to the limo-car thing. Reaching the door I slowly opened it and slammed it in Kanda's face. Grinning I watch him glower at me before walking around to open the other side. Still glowering at me he slammed the door shut, making the whole thing quiver slightly.

I gave a small-ish laugh as Lavi got in the front. Turning the driver, Tyki, looked at us.

"So? Lovely? These were the friends you were talking about? The white one looks like a girl and the samurai looks like he wants to kill me."

"Ha-ha! Allen is a boy I promise you. And Yuu-chan? He always wants to kill something…or someone." Lavi put on a fake frown, "I don't know why but Yuu-chan always wants to kill me Tyki!" cried Lavi. I rolled my eyes. Lavi was so flirting. Or at least I think he was…I never flirted with Kanda. It just was not possible. Speaking of Kanda…

"…Fucking Usagi! If you call me by my first name again I will be sure to make your life a living hell…than I will slowly and painfully peel all the skin from your-

"OK!" I shouted to stop Kanda's weird assed rant, "we got it. So Bakanda. You can just sit the fuck back down and stay there till we get to the buffet." He let out a quiet huff. _Shouldn't __**I**__ be the one huffing? _I asked myself. Rolling my eyes once again I glared at Kanda, who glared back (what a surprise), and watched Lavi try to flirt with Tyki.

_Well this is going to be an interesting lunch now isn't it?_

Tyki slowed at a red light.

"Hey Tyki-san," I started, "What does this button do?" I pointed to a small red button above the cup holders.

"That is just a button that allows the backseat passengers have privacy. You can try it if you want." He gave me a wink, which caused me to blush. I hesitantly pressed the button watching in amusement as it slowly went up, a black screen separating the front from the back.

"Heh. Finally," grunted Kanda, "I can finally have my Moyashi to myself" he gave a smirk and leaned over to capture my lips.

I gasped in shock at the sudden pressure and he took it as he pushed in between my teeth and into the warm carver called my mouth. Sighing I welcomed the extra appendage and moved my tongue against his. We fought and I actually won. Drawing his tongue back Kanda nipped at my lips making them swollen and bright red. Blushing I nipped at his lip making him frown and pull back. Giving a whine of protest I frowned.

"Moyashi," he ground out, but in a non-angry tone, "I am not a uke. That is you. So. You endure the punishment and all the biting. Not me. I don't not appreciate it." "_But it does feel good"_ he added at the end almost silently.

Grinning I gave him a lingering kiss then sat back in my seat. Looking at the black screen I once again pressed the red button and watched as Lavi and Tyki came into view.

"Have fun shoushen?" inquired Tyki with amusement.

Blushing I looked over at Lavi for some help. He too was grinning ear to ear giving Kanda a knowing look.

"Y-yeah I guess I had fun…um…" my blushed deepened as I asked the question I was treading, "How much did you hear?"

Lavi chuckled loudly. Shooting an embarrassed glare at him I turned back to Tyki who was answering my previously asked question.

"…heard everything." Tyki looked at me with a small smirk.

Looking down I thought that by now my face was beet red. I quickly switched seats sitting close to Kanda. I snuggled into his side and relaxed. _If I thought lunch was going to be fun before all of this, I was wrong. It is going to be much more amusing now. _

"Hey! Allen I forgot to tell you, Lenalee is coming too!"

_Oh fucking joy. More people that can embarrass me. Shit. _

A/N: yeah…hope you all like it…I wasn't that happy with it…but…what can I do? Right? and! If you want the next chapter(I didn't say 'chappie' I am being serious) then can I please ask you to take 3 min out of your awesome(or crappy) day to review this story? Thank you. It would make my day. So much. :D

~Allora.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I am gonna be nice a give you a new chappie now! I don't like this chapter at. All. It sucks so much! I hate it! DX but…oh well right? and thanks you guys for the AWESOMELY nice reviews. :D made my day!**

Allen's POV

"Wake up Moyashi-chan! We are here!"

"Go away Lavi…" I mumbled sleepily.

"Allen~~ There will be food." whispered Lavi in my ear.

I shot up locking my still fastened seatbelt and causing me to choke.

"Baka Moyashi" grumbled Kanda unbuckling my seat for me. Letting out a sigh I got out of the car.

"Allen!" squealed a girl with pig-tails.

"Hey there Lenalee. How are you?" I smiled politely.

"Good. Ready to go in and eat? I can tell you are hungry." She gave me a hug and began to drag me to the buffet.

Hearing a possessive growl not far behind me I looked over my shoulder to spot Kanda glare daggers at Lenalee.

"Um, Lenalee? Can you please let go of me?"

"Neh, nani?" she asked not letting go.

Blushing I knew I had to tell her, "Me and Kanda are kind of together."

Grinning she let go to run over to Kanda.

"Ha! I told you. Now hand it over mister."

"Che I don't know what the fuck you are talking about," grunted Kanda.

"Yeah yea whatever you little lying-

"Guys? I am hungry. So I am leaving and going in with Lavi and Tyki. OK?" I looked at them and left to talk about whatever Kanda was denying. Finding Lavi and Tyki I sat down and waited for the waiter to come and get our drinks.

"Allen you can go eat if you want." Lavi said to me when my stomach let out a large and noisy growl.

"Heh. Ok if you say so." I stood up and got my food.

"Who the fuck eats that much?" whispered Tyki quietly. I could tell he was trying to not wake me up but I was. Not his fault though…

"Moyashi-chan always ate that much right Yuu-chan?" said Lavi in reply to Tyki.

"Che. The Moyashi is weird like that." I didn't hear much of what Kanda had said but I could tell by the contractions his chest…made…

_I was sleeping on Kanda! Fuck! It does feel nice…he is really warm…ah. I could sleep here forev- No! Get up!_

Frowning I slowly sat up much to my body's protest.

"Where are we?" I asked sleepily.

"Well…" said a new voice. I turned. _Oh. Just Lenalee. _

"…We are headed to Lavi's house." She said blushing.

"Why are we going there?" I was confused.

"You know the last time you came to my house Allen-chan?" she asked.

_Oh. _"Yeah! We went out clubbing. It was so fun. Even though I only remember bits and pieces."

"Well I kept the outfit you wore and gave it to Lavi in case of…this."

"Oh…oh…_oh!_ We are going clubbing?" I squeaked. I loved to go dancing. Or drinking. Oh! And the gambling. I was good at that shit.

"Ha-ha! I knew you would like it! But it was Kanda's idea." said Lavi happily.

"Really?" I looked at Kanda.

"Che." Kanda glared at Lavi.

"Oh my god! Wasn't that really nice?" squealed Lenalee grabbing onto my newly usable arm

"Um…yeah I guess…Lenalee? Can you let go?" I tugged gently on my arm careful not to use it too much.

"Che. Baka Moyashi." grumbled Kanda. He pulled me closer to him.

"WAH!" I had forgotten Lavi's limo did not have seatbelts which caused me to go straight into Kanda's chest. It was a bit surprising to say the least.

"Hehe! Look at the happy couple!" chuckled Lavi.

"Shut the fuck up you baka usagi." Kanda said gruffly, although I saw a small smirk on his lips. I, on the other hand, blushed and hid myself in my…_what? Boyfriend? Lover? Crush? _Either way I hid myself in his chest.

Sooner than later we finally arrived at Lavi's house. I thought he was going to take us to his mansion…since he is rich. But he took us to the same place we always went. We walked inside with Lenalee sticking by my side. God I loved her…in a non-I-want-to-date-her-way I mean.

"We have 2 hours to kill people!" I heard Tyki's voice call out to us from the upper level, "so you can do what ever you what too!" with that he disappeared from my view. I looked around and smiled. I just loved Lavi's house. It was all warm and cozy. It was an older brick house not too far from the town but far enough that most noise didn't reach. Inside it had a nice fireplace in the large and spacious living area was filled with red and black chairs and couches. The living room also housed the large stacks of books Lavi liked to read and reread. Though it did have a small kitchen it fit in well. Upstairs held 4 bedrooms, plus the master, and 1 bathroom. It felt more like home to me than any other place I have lived.

"Neh, Allen-chan?" I looked over at Lavi.

"Yes?" I replied. He gave me a large smile and walked slowly over to me.

"Wanna play?" he asked in a low voice. I looked at him. _He is joking right? Gods he must be like…High or something. There is NO way in Hell I am gonna pl-_ I heard a loud and predatory growl come from Kanda's mouth. I grinned.

"Sure Lavi! I can play with you!" _Hm! That will teach Kanda I am not 'his' _

"Well I was thinking we could go upstairs and make hot passionate lov- FUCK! Watch where you put that leg of yours Ms. Lenalady! That could have injured me!" whined Lavi.

"Then don't make such perverted comments!" she said back sternly.

Lavi held up his hands in surrender, "OK, ok," he turned back to me, "do you want to play that game we played last time you and Lenalady came over?"

"Sure! It is that one where we have to kill the people trying to hurt us right?" I asked.

….Lavi burst out laughing. After a while Lenalee join in too. Only Kanda…wait. Where did he go? Oh well. They were laughing at me! How absurd!

"What?" I asked confused.

"Allen…I…have…hold on," Lavi slowly regained composure, "I have over 50 games where that happens Allen-chan." He grinned and patted my back.

"Oh." I blushed. I felt stupid now.

"It's ok Allen-chan. It is that one with the two really hot girls. One of them has that huge ass sword and the other has the freaky bow and arrow? …We have to kill that king guy because he was trying to kill their tribe or something. You remember?"

I thought about it…. "OH! That game! It was…it was called…Heavenly Sword(1)!"

"Yep. Wanna play?" asked Lavi again.

"Sure. Let's play away!" I noticed Lenalee still there, "Lenalee? You want to come with us?"

"Yes. I would love to. Thank you for asking Allen." She walked with us as we set up the PS3 and began playing the game.

Lavi turned off the game with one hour to spare.

"Lavi! What are you doing? We still have…an hour to kill!"

Lavi just looked at me and then at Lenalee.

"We have to start getting ready." Was all he said before walking up the up stairs to get changed.

"I will help you Allen," said Lenalee from behind me, "your door is the last one, next to the bathroom. Ok? I will see you after you change." With that she left too. Slowly I walked up the stairs. Finding my room I closed the door and began to undress.

Looking around I spotted my clothes on the bed atop the white pillow.

I put it on noticing how it felt a bit different from the last time a saw it. And I had gotten new pants too. I glance in the full body mirror and froze. These were not my clothes. Not mine at all! They were…too revealing. My shirt had sleeves ripped off making the previously long sleeved shirt now a short, close to none, sleeved shirt. And my pants…where to begin on them? I knew they were different from the black jeans I wore. For one they were white. Like my shirt. But my jeans had almost a zebra design on them, while my shirt had a wrinkled look to it making it look…well…wrinkled. Sighing I knew there was no way I was going to go in the clothes I had worn earlier in the day. They just weren't right for clubbing. Opening my door I headed into the bathroom to fix my tousled hair. Wetting both hands slightly I used the jar of gel that I had left at Lavi's house for reasons like this. I ruffled it slightly knowing it would look better after I started dancing. Exiting the bathroom I went down stairs to wait for the others. _I hope I don't get like raped in this. _I looked at my hands. _Oh shit! My gloves! Well, they won't really help. My shirt is almost sleeveless! _I reached the bottom of the stair tripping slightly. Glancing upward I found that the others were staring at me. I was the last one to come down.

"H-hey guys." I said nervously, "why am I dressed like this?"

Lavi pointed to Lenalee, "It was her idea!" Lenalee smiled. "I thought it would look good on you. And I was right! Here!" In one hand she held a pair of white boots. In the other she held long pale gloves that matched my skin almost perfectly.

"Like what I am wearing?" asked Lenalee as I finished up lacing my shoes. I looked at her. She was wearing a black, sleeveless shirt with a shirt shorter than normal and sexy **(a/n: should Allen really call boots 'sexy'? makes him sound gayer than he is. XD)** lacey, thigh high black boots that gave her at least an inch up on me. My gaze shifted from Lenalee to Lavi. He had a silk red shirt that was ripped into shreds but somehow still maintained a shirt like state. He had on black skinny jeans than look quite sexy on him. Not like that but…I guessed he was wearing them to catch Tyki's eye. And it was working. Tyki didn't meet my stare as I looked at what he was wearing. An almost see-through, skin tight white shirt that showed off his muscles. He had on a pair of faded blue-ish black jeans with black shoes. I could see them so I really could tell what they were. Slowly my gaze traveled to Kanda. I was shocked. Appalled. Amazed. He looked…so…fucking sexy. In his body-hugging muscle shirt and snug looking leather pants. He was also donning a pair of converse which surprised me. Kanda, wearing Converse (2).

"Che. What are you staring at Moyashi?" Kanda stared back at me.

"N-nothing! You guys just all look really se-I mean…good! You guys look good." I stuttered.

"Che. Baka Usagi. Get the car ready." Commanded Kanda.

"Yes, yes! LET'S GO!" Lavi shouted.

"Who is ready for an awesome night, that we may or may not remember tomorrow?" screamed Lenalee enthusiastically.

"ME~" yelled Lavi

"Che. Whatever. Can we go?" said Kanda in a monotone voice.

I punched the air, "Alright! Let's get this night going!"

And off we went.

A/N: I am not happy with the ending. -_- but I can't really change it….if I could find a way I would. But I can't. So yeah. Sorry bout the sucky chapter ending.

Allora number thingies:

this is a real game. But it is not multiplayer. And I don't own.

I just don't own this. XD tht would be awesome if I did.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I know I know. I just posted yesterday too…but after this one chapter I will be caught up with what I have written. And I really wanted to post today. Cuz I am a nice person (tht is the biggest lie ever) and I really want you feedback. Badly! And….one last thing. Most of the story will be told in Allen's POV so I will no longer put, 'Allen's pov' ok? Yeah. It is getting annoying.

-In the car (limo)-

"Neh, Allen-chan?" asked Lavi. I sighed. Can Lavi not ask question?

"Yes what do you want Lavi?" I slowly opened my eyes to give him a hard glare.

"Maa~~ Allen! I just wanted to know if you were sleeping!" whined Lavi. A growl escaped my throat. I wasn't sleeping but I needed my energy if we were going clubbing. Most likely drinking and gambling too. Sending him one final glare I closed my eyes hope that no one would interrupt my resting….

"_Moyashi."_ Kanda whispered in my ear. Immediately my eyes shot open.

"What!" I hissed. I wanted to rest goddammit!

"Lenalee and Lavi fell asleep." he stated. I frowned. So? What was his point? I wanted to rest…ok sleep too!

"Maybe you can follow their example and bug off!"

_Go away and let me sleep goddammit! _

"Che. Baka Moyashi" before I could protest a pair of chapped lips collided with mine.

The hell! I mentally shouted. No no no! I can't do this now!

I reluctantly pushed him away, "Not here, not now." I panted

A small smirk found itself onto Kanda's face, "Che, fine whatever." He looked out the window smirk slipping off his face, replaced with a frown.

I sat there unsure of what to do. I wanted Lavi and Lenalee to wake up, it was slightly unnerving to just sit next to the guy who raped me and possibly liked me. I stayed quiet for a little longer…..

_Sigh._ It was almost futile to sit next to this guy without doing something!

"Kanda?" I asked softly

"Che."

I gave a cute pout, "Kandaaa…are you mad at me?"

"…Che"

I smirked. If I kept this up long enough his resolve would break.

Slowly and tantalizingly I crawled my fingers up Kanda's torso.

"Don't be mad Kanda;" I said sweetly, "I am sorry."

My fingers made their way to his neck then his lips. I brushed them lightly before traveling back to his neck scrapping my nails over the smooth skin there.

"Kanda…" I whispered in his ear.

"…Che…" I grinned. _Just a little more!_ I thought. I leaned forward grazing my teeth over his earlobe, "You know…you know you want it Kanda. Come get it." And it was over. Kanda shoved me back into my seat and crawled over me forcing his lips onto mine. I kissed back with just as much passion; though I opened my mouth just enough to let my tongue slip out and tease Kanda's bottom lip. (1) Surprisingly this elicited a moan from him. I pulled away, our lips still touching.

"Like that don't chya?"

"Fu…ck, Allen." He moaned.

"Kanda, Kanda, Kanda," I tsked, I won't ever fuck you. For I am the uke, that is your job. I could** ride** you." I laughed. Maybe once in this lifetime I could be the seme but knowing Kanda it was a very slim chance.

"MMmmm…"

"Moyashi, please tell me that was you." Kanda looked at me.

"I was hoping it was you…" realizing it was neither of us we looked at the two sleeping bodies. One of which was waking up.

"Lavi?" I asked softly.

"Mhp. Allen-chan…is that you?" Lavi asked sleepily.

"Y-yes. What is wrong?"

"…nothin' I just heard weird noises….was that you?" Lavi fully opened his eye looking at us.

"What sounds?" I asked. We were so dead!

"We are here!" shouted Tyki from the front.

_Saved by the voice…ha. Last time it was a timer. How lucky am I?_ I jumped out of the car tripping over nothing.

"Baka Moyashi."

"Stuff it Bakanda." I hissed. I looked around. This place was huge! It was like…a casino, club, and an awesome bar all in one!

"Come on! Let's go!" I tried to run off but a firm hand grabbed me.

"No, now we can't have you running off now can we?" said Tyki.

I blushed. I did have no sense of direction what so ever. I walked next to Lenalee who had just gotten out of the car.

"How was your nap Lenalee?" I asked nicely

"Oh it was wonderful. I was dream that you and Kanda had gotten really drunk and started making out. Then your clothes started-

I blushed. She had dreams about this stuff?

"Ok! Lenalee I am good. Thank you though." I smiled and walked away from her. She really scared me sometimes. I found Lavi walking dangerously close to Tyki and silently wished him luck. Walking up behind Kanda I wrapped my arms around his waist, "ready to have some fun?" I asked.

"Che, duh. Why else would I be here?"

I sighed. This was Kanda we were talking about…I could never get a 'yeah I am ready to kick some ass…' or something like that. I continued to walk until Tyki pulled on my arm once again and gave me a wrist band. I took it and put it on not asking questions. It was so we could get in and out of the club and maybe so we could go to the bar, club, and casino without any trouble. I smiled warmly at Tyki.

"Thanks Tyki…." I said.

He smiled back at me and walked on. I too began to walk into the club. As soon as I entered there was music blaring in my ears. I looked at the rest of the group. Nodding to them I walked on past the DJ and into the bar. Just as suddenly the loud music was gone replaced with soft music coming out of the speaker overhead.

"I am getting a drink. Anyone in?" I asked taking a seat on the barstool.

"I am!" sang Lavi sitting next to me.

"Che." Kanda as well sat down on the other side of me.

"Sorry, boy, I am going to the casino," announced Tyki, "if you need me I will be in there." He walked back into the club and for a second we heard more of the music, this time a different song.

"Lenalady, are you gonna drink?" Lavi asked Lenalee, who was still standing lost in thought.

"Oh! Yes I will thank you," she took the seat next to Lavi, "what are we all getting?"

"We haven't figured that out yet…but I want something with Rum…." I went through a mental list of rum drinks I liked.

"I want something with Vodka!" shouted Lavi in my ear.

"Shut up Lavi!" I hissed at him. I didn't want a headache **before** I started drinking.

"I want sake bombers." stated Kanda bluntly. This caused Lenalee to laugh, "Figures it is only Kanda who knows what he wants!" she laughed, "and…I want…something….I don't know…" she trailed off.

"How about Tequila?" I asked.

"Perfect! I lover you Allen-chan!" she got off her stool and gave me a hug. Grinning I waved the bartender over, "Hello," I started smoothly, "can you tell us what you have with Rum, Vodka, and Tequila?" I asked nicely.

Instead of talking he handed us a menu, "Thanks." I said taking it from him. I flipped to the rum section and looked at the drinks.

Rum:

**Apple Rum Rickey** **Appled Rum Cooler** **Aruba Rum Punch** **Aurum Cocktail** **Banana Rum Cream** **Banana Rum Frappe** **Beau's Rum and Coke** **Belize Rum Punch** **Bermuda Rum Swizzle** **Bloody Butrum**(2)

"Mmm…." I looked at the list thinking, "I will get the 'Banana Rum Cream." I told him. Seeing him leave to make my drink I passed it to Lavi.

"I will get the 'Red Death'" Lavi called to the bartender.

"Alright!" he said back. Walking over he gave me my drink, "one Banana Rum Cream." He set it on the counter top and went back to work on Lavi's drink. I saw Lavi give it to Lenalee and watched her look and the menu, "you need help Lena?" I asked.

"If you would please Allen-chan." I walked over to her and looked at the list of drinks.

Tequila:

**Black Tequila** **Blackberry Tequila** **Coconut Tequila** **Cosmotequila** **Fancy Tequila Cocktail** **Frozen Tequila Screwdriver** **La Bomba** **Lake George Iced Tea** **Las Vegas** **Last Chance **

"I would take the 'Coconut Tequila'" I informed her.

"OK! Nice choice Allen-chan!" she said to me, "I'll take the Coconut Tequila!" she shouted to the bartender.

He strode over back to us and put down Lavi's drink as well as Kanda's, "there you go. One Red Death and two Sake Bombers," he looked at Kanda, "good luck man." He left and came back with Lenalee's drink.

"Is that all?" he asked.

"Yep. Thank you." I replied taking a sip of my drink. Within seconds…I was getting a 3rd drink, Lavi was almost trashed, Lenalee was laughing on the floor about nothing, and Kanda was still sitting there. You could tell he was drunk by the way his eyes looked but he was still silent.

"Nehhhhh….I wanna go dance…" I said moving to get up. Pulling Lavi with me I walked out to the club wading in and out of people making sure I didn't hit them. When I got to the middle or what I thought was the middle I started dancing. I moved my hips to the beat. I had recognized the song. It was one of my favorites. It had a nice beat and great lyrics.

_Oh baby when you talk like that  
You make a woman go mad  
So be wise and keep on  
Reading the signs of my body_

And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Hey Girl, I can see your body moving  
And it's driving me crazy  
And I didn't have the slightest idea  
Until I saw you dancing

I rolled my hips to the beat feeling light headed. Soon a pair of rough hands grabbed my waist and pulled me against his own. Startled I looked to see who it was. Kanda. Smiling at him I ground my hips backward still moving to the beat.

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving  
Half animal, half man  
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing  
But you seem to have a plan  
My will and self restraint  
Have come to fail now, fail now  
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know  
That's a bit too hard to explain_

Bored with my current dancing I wiggled down till I was crouched on my knees and made my way back up. Though I was still grinding myself on Kanda I would temporarily leave as I went down coming back up with more force than when I left.

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel you boy  
Come on let's go, real slow  
Baby, like this is perfecto_

Oh, you know I am on tonight and my hips don't lie  
And I am starting to feel it's right  
The attraction, the tension  
Baby, like this is perfection

No fighting  
No fighting(3)

As soon as the song ended I felt myself being pulled away from the crowd. I was lead to the men's bathroom and slammed against the wall. I hissed in pain as my mind slowly processed my head hitting the tile wall.

"Fucking Moyashi." Kanda ground out grinding against me this time. I let out a sharp gasp as I felt his hardness through his pants. I grinded back earning a low moan and a rough kiss. I gasped as his warm tongue entered my mouth. He tasted like Sake and mint. My tongue played with his, he won and I moan in pleasure as his tongue memorized my mouth with care. Sooner than I wanted we had to break away so I could breathe. I began to pant and cry out as Kanda sucked on my ear.

"Fuck Moyashi. How the hell do you get me so hot?" he asked gruffly biting my ear which made me scream in pain and pleasure. He continued to nibble on my ear but soon moved on to my neck. Biting and licking his way done I felt his fast nibble fingers remove my shirt. Still sucking on my neck those same fingers twisted my nipples making me moan. Kanda started to lick down my chest until he was met with rosy red and erect nipples. With one he bit and sucked, with the other he was still pinching and twisting it this way and that. Combined the pleasure of it all made me scream his name.

"Kanda….kanda….oh gods…Kanda!" I moaned.

He looked up at me, "yes Moyashi?"

"Fuck….just fuck me Kanda." I panted. With a smirk he pulled away and tossed me my shirt. I cried out at the loss of warmth.

"When we get home." Was all he said as he left the bathroom leaving me alone. Putting on my wrinkled white shirt I too exited the bathroom. I found Lavi and Lenalee quickly. Seeing them I blushed. Lenalee was shirtless. All she had on was her bra and the short skirt she was wearing before. Lavi had his hands up the skirt and his mouth was making its way to her breasts. I quickly looked away. The motion was not smart however. My sight became blurred. _Fuck…I need to find Tyki…or Kanda…I want to go home to finish what I started. _With that thought in mind I stumbled my way into the casino to find Tyki.

"T…yki!" I slurred.

"Yes? What is wrong, boy?" he asked slightly worried.

"I…wanna go home…" I said wobbling.

I heard a sigh, "OK. We can go…but find the others ok? I will bring the car around. I am bringing all of you back to Lavi's house." He too left me alone. Frowning I followed the orders he had given me. I walked back out to find Lenalee and Lavi. This time Lenalee's bra was missing too. Lavi was shirtless and was currently sucking on Lenalee's breast. Blushing once again I walked over to them tripping a bit.

"Guyssss…." I grumbled, "Stop making out and let's go home…." Watching them get dressed I walked with them to find Kanda.

"Moyashi." said a voice next to me. Squealing I jumped up and tripped. I was caught by a pair of large warm hands.

"Baka Moyashi." Kanda whispered in my ear, "Let's go home."

The ride back to Lavi's house was quite. I sat there not looking at Kanda. Kanda sat there not looking at me. Lavi and Lenalee were as well not looking at each other. It was a 'don't look at anyone' contest. Only when did we get out of the car did this end. Calmly we all walked into the house. I walked upstairs and toward my bedroom. I was in the process of taking off my pants when I hear my door click closed. Looking up I saw it was Kanda….and he was walking towards me. _Shit. _I backed up slowly, "H-hey Kanda…what do you want?" I asked shakily even though I knew what he wanted. I wanted it too.

"Moyashi, you know what I want." He gave a feral smile.

My back hit the wall.

Kanda got closer to me.

And all was lost.

A/N: I like this chappie…and yes…in case you were wondering I do know what rum, vodka, and tequila is. They are not bad if you ask me! xD but other than that….plz review! I NEED them. I feel unloved if you don't review. Like you guys don't like the story…so yeah. Review so I can feel loved. Cuz I am in a falling out with a really good friend of mine….i miss her! *cries* *stops* OK! Enough! REVIEW! Thxs.

Allora's weird number things

why is it the bottom lip that ALWAYS gets sucked on?

I didn't make these drinks up. sadly. But I do want to taste them!

That is not my song. It is 'hips don't lie' by sharkira. I only own a copy of the song I got off youtube.

~Allora


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: did I really leave a cliffhanger? Oops. Sorry bout that. I didn't want to write anymore and left it at that. But here is the rest! Enjoy. And sorry for the lateness. My friend was bugging me to write it…but I watch anime and have a life. So…sorry. But still! You got a chapter yes?

Warning: slightly drunk Allen, trashed Kanda, and rape…I think

Allen's P.O.V. (when is it not?)

_From last chapter. _

_My back hit the wall._

_Kanda got closer_

_And all was lost. _

I looked at Kanda in fear. He was getting real close now…and that look in his eyes…it was of pure lust. Not that look he had when he was drunk…that was different. This was him semi-sober and a lustful look that was-

My thoughts were interrupted by chapped, rough lips. Leaning back from the wall I dropped my shirt that was in my hands and put them around his neck. Feeling his tongue wiggle out to tease my lips I ground up against him. Feeling more than hearing him moan I gave a self satisfied smirk I repeated the motion. Kanda's mouth soon left my own, much to my protest. Though the absence of his lips was short lived. They slowly traveled along my jaw and my neck, licking at random spots. I was still moaning, from the action he was doing to me and the friction of our clothed erections rubbing against each other. Taking in a sharp breath I ground harder against him. This time instead of Kanda's moaning I got a bite, hard enough to leave blood, on my neck. Gasping at the pain my fingers went up to grab Kanda's shirt. Abruptly Kanda pulled away. Looking at his in sadness I saw he was undressing…slowly. _Fucking tease he is_ I grumbled in my head. I reached out to grab him but he took a step back. Frowning I just stood there watching his take off his shirt. 10 buttons in all.

_Hurry the hell up!_

8…7

_Dammint Kanda! You are not helping my…situation right now!_ 6…5

_If you don't hurry up I will rip it off you hot sexy toned body!_

4…3

_Almost there. No! Why are you taking __longer__ to do the last 3?_

2….

_Really? Bakanda! Take off you shirt!_

2…

_Yes…now come here Kanda. You are mine! Come on. Last one. Let's get this started now._

…1

_Ding!_

Reaching back to Kanda I placed my hands on his stomach. So hott ((a/n: Kanda is so hot he needs two t's)) he is. Sighing I ran my fingers over his toned body. I reached his pant line sooner than I thought. Glancing at him I started tugging his pants down. A strong hand stopped me, "you first Moyashi." He whispered in my ear. I gave an involuntary shiver. His hands traveled down my already bare chest. Slowly they passed my pale stomach and came to a stop on the waist bands of my jeans. Giving a feather light touch to the bulge in my pants he unzipped my pants and yanked them down, along with my boxer. Blushing I tried to pull away but it was in vain. The hands once again locked onto my waist. Growling in anger I unraveled my hands my hands from his hair, how they got there I have no idea. I didn't take any time to admire his chest. I went straight for his pants. Not wasting any time I quickly pulled his pants down, snagging his boxers in the process. Blushing I looked away realizing what I had done, what I was doing. I yanked my self out of his reach and took a step back.

"What's wrong Moyashi?" a very naked Kanda asked me still very drunk.

"N-nothing! Um…well…can we do this…another time? I really want this to be a good time…not some drunken fling. OK?" I asked still blushing. I saw Kanda frown.

"Moyashi…if you know you are drunk then you will remember this yes?" he asked. And sadly…he was right. He was drunk, and yet he was right. But I wanted it to be romantic. You know…All that good stuff. The sweet kisses. The murmuring of sweet nonsense. Though…there was no way I was telling Kanda that.

"Well…I just don't want to…" I said in a small whisper.

"Liar. You want to. See?" to make his point he reached down and grabbed my very prominent erection. Gasping I unwillingly bucked into his hand.

"K-Kanda!" I wailed. Tears pricked my eyes, "Stop. I don't want this!"

Kanda leaned close to my face. The smell of his breath and the look in his eyes told me he was still _much_ more intoxicated then me, "Moyashi. You may _say_ you don't want this, but your body says otherwise. He squeezed again and ran his finger over the slit. My hips once again thrust up involuntarily and a moan escaped my lips.

"Kanda! I don't want this. Please…let me go. Please!" I begged. All I got back was a humorless laugh, "Do you think I am stupid? There is no way I am letting you leave." Kanda chuckled. He grabbed me and tossed me to the bed. I landed with a small huff. Before I could react Kanda was once again on top of me.

"Stop this…please…" I tried once again. Instead of responding Kanda trailed his sharp nails over my chest, leaving behind red, angry scratches in his wake. He reached my cock and drew a lazy circle around the base. I thrashed back and forth. I didn't want this. I wanted him to stop. I would do anything for his to stop. A warm heat enveloped my cock causing me to give a small scream. Looking down I saw Kanda with half of my length in my mouth. I moaned as he let go and used his tongue to lick the underside of my cock.

"Like that my Moyashi?" Kanda said giving me a hard bite.

"Kanda…ah…please just…ju-ugh. Just stop! Plea-uhh…." I tried to tell him, but it didn't work. My body liked this too much. But my mind was having a break down. I knew he would remember this. I would have to live with the fact that the man I love had raped me. Tears once again appeared in my eyes, threatening to overflow. I wouldn't let them. This was my fault. All my fault.

Lavi's POV

I laughed. Loudly.

"Lavi! Will you **please** shut the hell up?" Lenalee said to me.

"Whyy? The club thing was so much fun!" I said back to her grinning. Seeing her blush I continued, "Wanna do that again?"

"N-no! Nee-san would murder you if he found out!" she stammered. I laughed again, but not as loud as before, "I was just joking Lenalady. I like you and I may be Bi but I wouldn't date you. Friends only….friends with benefits?" I grinned.

"Lavi!" she shouted, loudly.

"Shh. Lenalee! You need to be quiet!" I whispered to her. When she gave me the evil glare I knew oh so well I walked away from her and up the stairs, "see you later Ladylee! Wish me luck!" without waiting for her to reply I ran up the stairs and stopped in front of Tyki's room. Knocking softly I waited until I heard, "come in." Opening the door I walked in and what I saw didn't really shock me. It was a normal sight. Tyki was sitting in a chair I had bought him for his birthday last year. There was dim light and he was reading one of the books in the small bookcase. His shirt was slightly open showing some of his muscles, his gold eyes framed by reading glasses.

"Tyki?" I asked walking up to him.

"Yes lovely?" he said looking up from his book.

"It has been a while hasn't it? Since I came up here. Since…you know…" I grinned.

"You are right. It has been much longer than I would have thought possible. Come here." He scooted over making a small amount of room on the small chair. Closing the distance between us I sat next to him.

"What book are you reading now?" I asked him.

"Call of the Wild. Not that bad of a book." He said back. Looking at me he gave me a small kiss on the lips, "missed you Lovely." He said quietly.

I myself gave him my own lingering kiss, "Missed you too Tyki." I snuggled up to him closing my eyes to the dim light. I was with my lover and that was all that mattered.

A/N: ahhh. I love this one. And…I think I will make this a drama/romance fic. Not really humor. :D anyways. So sorry for the lateness and stuff….and it is shorter then what I would like…but oh well. AGAIN I say… 'anyways'. Should I continue to rape Allen? Or Kanda. Whatever. Tell me! And that mean….duh duh duh! Review! Yay! I love them. If you don't…I wont update. :P

~Allora!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Greetings everyone. How are all of you doing this fine day? Better then me? Most likely yes. I hate Spanish. A lot. DX can't a girl take Japanese or French? *sigh* well…the next chapter. Hope you like. Yeah….like it. Please. I beg of you.**

_Allen's POV_

"Kanda…are you done?" I whimpered. All I got in reply was loud pants. Figuring it was over I began to get up, but the pain was too much to bear. Wincing I laid back down. It hurt. Not as bad as last time…but the emotional pain was much worse than before. My heart was aching. My head was throbbing. And my whole body was shaking. Ignoring the pain I got out of the bed once I knew that Kanda was asleep. Slipping on some PJ's I walked into the hall way. Slowly and painfully I walked down the grand stair case Lavi loved so much. Reaching the bottom I staggered over to the couch. Plopping down was not a good idea. Hissing in pain I slowly let my body relax and eased my way into a laying position on the soft leather couch. I knew sleep wasn't going to come easily. I knew that as soon as I got home I was going to be depressed. I knew that I was going to cut again. And yet though I knew this…I didn't want to. I wanted to be happy. To find love. To be wanted. To never be used. To never feel pain. Or be hurt. To have friends that I could tell everything too. To not have a deformed arm. Yet none of that did I have. Slowly but surely I drifted into a sleep plagued with nightmares and dreams that can never be.

Lavi's POV

"Lavi…wake up Lavi." I heard a voice reach into my sleep and say.

"Give me 5 more minutes Tyki…" I said back my voice laced with sleep.

"That is the 3rd time you have said that. Get up!" suddenly I was hoisted into his arms, off the warm chair.

"Tykiii!" I whined, "Put me dow-oof" with a soft thud I landed on the bed I called mine and Tyki's. My eyes shot open.

"Godammit Tyki! Not now." I said loudly.

"Shh Lovely. You might wake the girl, Lenalee, so let's do this quietly." With a devilish smirk he ripped a piece of cloth off my shirt.

"Hey, her, hey!" I protested, "I liked tha-mphm" my little rant was cut shout when he stuck the fabric in my mouth. Tearing more of my shirt he bound my legs and arms to the respective places on the bed. Seeing him grin made a small shiver go down my spine.

"Now, my Lovely bunny, let's get this started."

-Next morning-

_Allen's POV_

_Owww, my back. Ok….just get to the shower. Wash off everything. And then all I can do is pretend. I am done. I can't do this anymore. Whatever me and Kanda have. Or what I think we have. I like him…but __**this**__ is too much. I need to do something. Ok, ok, let's just get to the shower. And no cutting. This is not your house. Oh….why am I crying. I should have known this was going to happen. I got slightly drunk, Kanda got trashed, a recipe for disaster right there. Shower…is…where? Damn. Alright…calm down. There is one next to my room. Up…the stairs…ohhh. Why does it have to be upstairs? Nothing I can do. Let's go._

_1…2…3 _

_At least it is not a long staircase. Only what? 25 steps?_

_5…6…7…_

_Almost kinda not really done. _

_13…14…15 _

_Ten more…I can so do this…god my back hurts _

_20…21…22…23…_

_Done! Yes! Now my bedroom so I can get clean clothes…then the shower…._

_Ok…clothes? Got them. In the shower? Getting in….ahh that feels so good. Nice and warm. I think it is ok for me to think now…sigh. Ok. So._

_I love Kanda, and I think he loves me back. _

_I made out with a sober Kanda 2 or 3 times. _

_I got raped by a drunken Kanda 2 times. _

_Now the question is….should I tell him? Or should I just keep this to me? _

_I want to tell him…but what if…I don't know…what if he gets repulsed that I am no longer 'pure' though he was the one to rape me. Mmm…I think I will just tell him…and see what happens. Alright. Water off…clothes on…and I need to talk to Kanda…if he doesn't have a bad hangover that is…_

_Kanda's POV_

_Fucking son of a bitch. Why the fuck does my head hurt? God, I am going to fucking kill that Usagi when I next see him…Shit. I need meds. Where are they? Ugh….of all the fucking times they HAVE to be across the fucking room? Shit my fucking head. Where the fuck is the fucking water? Oh…there…ahhhh. That feels better then the shitty way it was before. Though I still feel like shit. Oh…there is Allen! Why is he sad looking again? What had happened? If that Baka Usagi did something to him I am-_

"Kanda?" he asked me.

"The fuck do you want?" I replied tersely.

"I need to talk to you…now if possible." I shrugged. How bad could it be? Following the sprout I was lead back to my own room.

"Moyashi? Why are we in my room? Let's go to your own fucking room."

"Where did you wake up this morning Kanda? My room that's where. So shut the hell up and let me talk." He spat at me.

_Damn…why the hell is he so mad? _

"Kanda…um…well….you know I like you right?"

"Che, fucking stupid question."

"Right…of course it is." Said the pale Brit.

"So, what the fuck is your point?" I growled. I didn't want to be here if there was no reason.

"I _getting_ to it!" Allen retorted angrily. Calming back down with a small sigh he continued, "Do you remember anything from that one night?"

_Well…that is the vaguest fucking thing I have ever heard._

"I know! I just…I thought you would remember." Cried Allen, and it was then I realized I had spoken my thoughts out loud.

"Moyashi…calm the hell down! What the fuck am I supposed to remember?" I shouted at him, my patience wearing thin.

"_**THE NIGHT YOU RAPED ME**_!" shouted Allen back tears making twin rivers down the side of his face.

Silence that was all that was left. Allen cried silently, and I myself was just silent from the shock. I would never lose control like that…unless…

"Allen was that the more recent night I got drunk." I asked in the softest voice possible, breaking the silence and scaring the smaller boy.

"Y-es…I was…I am sorry…I didn't mean…I mean…I really didn't mean to shout it like that…um…sorry. You can forget about that…um…-"

I silenced him with a small hug. Growling quietly in his ear I whispered, "I will only say this once…I am sorry _Aren._" Letting his thin and shaking frame go I walking back out of the room and slumped against the wall. I couldn't believe I did that. I raped my Moyashi. I sighed. I said I was sorry and that was all I could really do. What I need to do now was…change. Growling I threw the down back open.

"I need to change." Was all the reply Allen got to my abrupt entrance. Throwing on a torn muscle shit and some old beat up gray-black jeans I grabbed Mugen and left not once looking at Allen.

_Allen POV_

I stood there watching Kanda as he left with Mugen. _Must be going to go train I guess…_ A loud grumble filled the room. _Ah…I must be hungry. Haven't eaten since last night…and that…entire event…never mind that. I need food and it is food I am going to go get. On the plus side…my ass feels much better. _Walking back out of the room and down the stairs was much easier than it had been earlier this morning. Walking down I heard the door to Tyki's study room open revealing a grinning, yet limping, Lavi.

I stopped and waited for him, "Good morning Lavi!" I said as he caught up.

"'Morin' Allen-chan. You going go eat?" he asked.

"Yeah…you got food? I can cook? I mean…if you want me too…" I trailed off blushing. I never sounded so unsure of myself in my life. I guess there is a first time for everything right?

"Sure if you want to cook us food that would be awesome! We got a lot of it so make yourself happy." He smiled at me as we reached the last of the steps. I walked into the kitchen and opened the soft sky blue fridge. _I guess Lavi wasn't joking when he said that there was a lot of food…_ I thought to myself. Grabbing what I thought would be good, eggs and bacon, I took out some pans and started cooking. _I guess if I make eggs and bacon…I can make pancakes too right? I have done it before. Not that hard. _Turning away from the eggs for a split second I rushed to the pantry and grabbed the pancake mix. Rushing back to the eggs I made sure they weren't burning before mixing the pancake mix and the water. Once I was done I heated up another pan on the gas stove Lavi had bought earlier in the year. It was clean and worked well, but it was old to say the least. Stirring the mix one last time and checking on the bacon I poured it in making a perfect circle. Sighing I scrambled the eggs, adding a bit of salt and pepper. Looking at the bacon again I flipped it over and proceeded to do the same with the pancakes. I repeated the motion over and over again until I was happy with the amount I had made. Cleaning the area I had used I put my food on a plate and walked to sit on the same leather couch I had woken up in earlier in the morning.

"Breakfast is ready!" I sang to Lavi, who was reading one of his favorite books.

"OK!" he called back.

Sniffing in the warm smell of my breakfast I was about to dig in when a pain in my stomach showed itself. Dropping my fork on the near by coffee table I clutched at my stomach hopping the agonizing pain would go away. Instead it made itself more pronounce. Abandoning my food I rushed to the nearest sink, which happened to be the kitchen sink, and puked my guts into it. Coughing weakly I looked up to see Lavi standing in the doorway.

"You ok Moyashi-chan?" I asked concerned.

"Y-yeah…I am fine…I think." I answered in between coughs. Reaching to rinse away the vulgar sight red caught my eye. Looking down saw it was what I had thrown up earlier. Blood, I had thrown up _blood. _ Slowly turning back to Lavi I stared at him before saying, "Get Kanda. Find him. Something is wrong. Lavi…I just puked _blood_. I haven't eaten breakfast…" black dots were appearing in my vision. I knew I was going to pass out. And so did Lavi. Rushing to my side he picked me up with ease and put me back on the couch.

"I am going to get Kanda, OK?" I nodded, "stay here. Unless…you know… if that happens I want to go straight back here ok?" not waiting for my reply he left me running to find my Kanda. I lied there but the pain in my stomach never faded. Same with the black dots, they never went away either. Suddenly my stomach gave another hurl. It wasn't as bad as before but it forced a good wet cough. Covering my mouth I felt a spray of liquid coat it. Pulling it back I saw it was more blood. Groaning in anguish I wiped it on my sweatpants leaving a trail of dark black blood smears on them. I tossed my head back onto the pillow. It, in fact, was not a smart idea. The black dots reappeared with more force then before and I started to slip into the cold dark blackness. The last thing I saw was Kanda running back to me scooping me up and saying, "Dammit Aren!" that put a smile on my face as the blackness claimed me as its prisoner.

**A/N: ok, ok, ok. This is **_**NO **_**Mpreg just to say that. Soooo…my day today (9/8/10) went from HAPPY to SAD. Sad cuz my friend's boyfriend said I should go die in hell and burn. D: I don't know what the fuck I ever did to him. So I told him he could too and that the only reason I was nice to him was cuz he was dating my friend and as soon as they break up all will be better. I know not really helping but he hates me so…what more can I do? Ok…the end of my rant…kinda. I had to cook today and I was doing the whole 'breakfast for dinner' thing. I failed. I can't cook pancakes and eggs burned. The bacon was ok but not that good…D; it was kinda funny though. NOW I am done. And sorry for the late update…I gots grounded. I still am. But…it doesn't help when I can still type…just no internet till Sunday. Oh well. Sorry. **

**~Allora-chan. **


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hello. Ok…so I started this chappie before I posted the 8th one…so with the whole voting thing…ha-ha. I just asked my table at lunch…they all said they wanted Allen to be a Neko (this was screamed by my friend Cassy or Cassidy she cusses at me in the reviews) instead of making him be REALLY sick…so shout-out to:

Cassidy

Laura

Hayden (not really…he said Allen wasn't REAL and that it didn't matter…ass)

Shelly

Zoe

Tammy

Lena and Delphi (pardon if I spelled tht wrong Cassy.)

And of course Lanae Allora and Riku. (Voices in my head.)

And the rest of my awesome paw some table…so…sorry for the ramblings, xd -(a joke with my table) let's let you enjoy the story right? Ha-ha. OH! I forgot….sorry for **Kanda's occ. **I couldn't make him indifferent to poor Moyashi-chan's suffering now can I? I am not a 'let's do I FULL on Dark Yullen story' kind of person. Ha-ha. Ok. Now I am done. Read and enjoy

_Kanda's POV _

I was in the mist of taking another bite from my steaming soba when an ear-splitting scream filled the air. Releasing my chopsticks I rushed to Allen's room. We had just gotten home about an hour ago and I had ordered Lavi to make me some soba as I laid Allen back in his room, still knocked out. Arriving at his room my gaze automatically shifted to Allen. Allen, the same one…who was currently screaming. Hurrying to his side I took a hold of his hand.

"Moyashi, Moyashi, wake the hell up!" I said urgently. Letting go of his hand I touched his cheek. Hot. _Holy shit, does the brat have a fever?_ I placed my hand on his forehead to make sure. Hotter still. My mouth opened to call Lavi's name, so he could call that stupid Komui, but when I looked up blank silver eyes stared back at me lifelessly.

"Is Allen-chan OK?" a voice said. I swiveled to find it but found no one in the room. A frown creased my face.

"Is Allen-chan going to be Ok Kanda?" said the small, child-like voice again. My eyes scanned room yet again, still not finding anyone.

"Over here…" I saw a small girl, Rhode. I grimaced.

"Hey Kanda, I see you found Rhode. That scream was Allen right? Yeah I thought so." puffed Lenalee from the doorway.

"Che yeah it was the Moyashi. Where the fuck is you asshole of a brother?" I growled.

"Gosh! Calm down Kanda! He is on his way. Is Allen ok?" she asked.

"How the fuck would I know?" I snapped at her.

"Now, now Kanda-chan no need to be mean to poor Lenalee-chan. She is worried about Allen-chan's well being. He **has **been out for about a week now." Rhode stated matter-of-factly.

"Che." was my reply, "don't fucking call me 'Kanda-chan' baka." I let go of Allen's soft hand and looked back at him. He wasn't screaming but it still looked like he was in immense pain. Frowning I turned away and walked out the door briskly.

"He will be ok, Kanda, Nii-san will make sure of it." Lenalee said as I walk past her.

_Shit…I might as well train._ I strode back to my room grabbing Mugen and walking back out. My door frame shuddered as I slammed it. As I was passing the door the bell ringed.

_Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Grumbling under my breath I yanked it open.

"Hello there Kanda, Lenalee called me and told me everything." the doctor said rather gravely.

"Che, yeah whatever. If you need more info just ask the fucking rabbit. And leave me alone. I need to train." I moved out of his way and continued to the 'training' room. It was supposed to be an office…but who the hell cares?

_Lenalee's POV_

"How long are you going to be here Rhode?" I asked. The smaller girl grinned at me.

"Until Allen-chan get better of course!"

I frowned. I liked the girl but she always came out here when something happens to Allen or me. Like the time when Allen wanted to get an apartment. She helped him find one. With Kanda but still. And the time she helped me with my boy issues. I was in love with Allen…I still was. But he loved Kanda and I was fine with that right? I would get over it. It wasn't my fault all my best guy friends are the hottest guys I have ever and will ever meet.

"How did you know Allen was out for a week?" I looked at Rhode smiling.

"Uncle Tyki told me of course."

"Tyki? You know him?" I didn't know this and I bet neither did Allen.

"Yeah…he is my uncle. I never told Allen-chan though. He would freak." She walked over to me, "wanna go get something to eat? I am hungry?"

I gawked at her, "you just ate…like…2 hours ago?" I laughed, "Anyways yeah. What do you want?" before Rhode could reply a cry was heard from the living room.

"Moyashi-chan, are you awake yet?" shrieked an all too familiar voice.

"Shit! Shut the hell up Usagi!" shouted Kanda back.

"Yuu-chan! Hello! Have had the Moyashi awaked from his slumber? OH! Hiya! Komui! When did you get here?" the high red head said.

_Nii-san is here already? That was fast_

"Hello to you too Lavi!" my brother said just as happily. I looked at Rhode, she looked back, and we burst into laugher. Walking out of the room I saw the three of them. Mugen was on Lavi's throat and Nii-san was going on about what he planned to do with Allen.

"Tyki-chan!" shouted the girl standing near me. I looked at where she was shouting. Sure enough Tyki was stand there silent but all the same giving Kanda a death glare. _He and Lavi must be fucking. Damn…he was sexy too. Do ALL the hot and sexy guys have to be gay?_

"Hello Lavi, Tyki" I nodded to each of them. Turning to Komui I gave a small frown, "shouldn't you be working to see what is wrong with Allen?" I asked.

"Ah!" he jumped up, "Yes, of course! My dear sister is right!" without a second thought he rushed to Allen's room softly closing the door.

"If you told him to jump off a cliff would he?" Kanda asked disapprovingly.

"Hell yeah! Komui would do ANYTHING to make his little 'Lenalee-chan' happy." Replied Lavi with a smirk in my direction.

"Oh, fuck you two." I barked at them giving my own smirk in return. I looked at Rhode who was chatting it up with Tyki.

"Hey, Kanda, Lavi." I addressed them

"Yea?" said Lavi.

"The fuck do you want?"

Scowling at Kanda's rude and unnecessary comment I continued, "Do you want to come to lunch with Rhode and me?"

"Sure! Why the hell not! And Tyki is coming too of course right?" I nodded.

"Che, do I have too?" sighed Kanda.

"Yes Kanda…you HAVE too. Now let me get some money from Nii-san and we will be on our way," I waved a hand, "discuss among yourselves for a bit and decide where we want to go." With that I walked back into Allen's room not knocking. What I found wasn't very surprising. All it was was Komui taking notes on Allen's fever and all that shit.

"Nii-san?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes my dear Lenalee? What ever could you need?" he said back not even looking up from his note taking.

"Can I have some money? Please?" I said as sweet as I could.

Whipping around he stared at me, "What? Why would you ever need money Lenalee? Make those ungrateful bags of crap pay for you!"

"Nii-san!" I chided, "I just need some money! Calm down. Gosh. If you didn't want to give me some money you could have just said so." I pouted.

"O-oh…I never meant I wouldn't give it to you Lenalee! H-here!" he gave me a couple of 10's and about three 20's, "Will that be enough?" I grinned on the inside. That was more then enough.

"Yes! Thank you SO much Nii-san!" I squealed like a little girl.

"OK. As much as I would love to talk to you, your Nii-san has to take some notes on Allen ok?" he shooed me out of the room, "don't do anything you wouldn't do!" he shouted before he closed the door.

_The hell? That made NO sense! 'Don't do anything you wouldn't do?' the hell does that mean?_ I went back to the group, who was all still alive somehow.

"Ok! So where are we going?" I asked everyone as we all exited the building.

"A Japanese restaurant." Said Kanda in a monotone.

"Ok…um…let's go then! Come on guys!" Rhode whined, "I am hungry!" 

"Gods I swear she has the same appetite as Allen." Groaned Lavi. I gave him a playful punch on the arm, "Nii-san gave us enough money so we will be fine. Just get in the hell in the car."

_Allen's POV_

_Everything hurt._

_My back_

_My head_

_My spine_

_Everything_

_It felt as if it was on fire _

_Burning though every part of my body_

_Screaming out in pain didn't help and sometimes seemed to make it worse_

_I could hear what was happening too_

_I heard Kanda_

_And Rhode_

_And Lenalee too_

_I knew that Lavi and Tyki were there as well_

_I wanted to say something _

_But every time I tried to open my mouth _

_All that was able to come out_

_Was a scream _

_Or a whimper of some kind_

_I heard when Lenalee had asked Komui for money_

_But if Komui was here that meant that something was really wrong with me _

_I whimpered again _

_The pain increased _

_My eyes shot open and I soundlessly screamed._

"Moyashi!"

_I heard Kanda yell _

_My arms went to the top of my head_

_They hurt so badly _

_I felt my nails dig into my scalp _

_I felt the blood drip down my face_

_This time I cried out in agony _

_"K_anda_!" _

_I cried_

_I knew he was there_

_A warm hand gently grasped my arm_

"Fuck…it is going to be ok Moyashi."

_He said in my ear_

_Feeling myself nod _

_Another spasm of pain consumed me_

_It convulsed though me_

_My head felt as though it was going to explode_

_And my back was feeling as though somebody was slicing it open with a rusty knife. _

_I withered in the pain that was alternating throughout my body_

"_Somebody! Somebody make it stop. It hurts it hurts! Make it stop. Please! Please make it stop! I hurt really badly!" _

_I heard myself scream at the top of my lungs_

"We can't do anything Allen. You know that"

_It was Lavi. He was here too_

_Everybody was probably here _

_The pain eased _

_If only a little_

_My gazed focused _

_And locked onto Kanda_

"_Kanda…" I cried, "Am I going be ok?" _

"Yes…of course you are.

_I smiled_

_Kanda never would lie to me right? _

_My focus shifted in and out_

_Finally after some time _

_The pain was slowly able to crawl back into whatever hole it came out of_

_Sighing in relief _

_I looked at my friends _

_All crowded by my bed_

_And then…_

_At long last a dreamless_

_Painless sleep_

_Washed over me_

_Author's POV _

"Is he…?" Lavi trailed off.

"Fuck…the hell is that? What the hell happened to him?"

"Mmm…this might be one of those side effects I was telling you about Kanda." Komui said pushing the bridge of his glasses up.

"Nii-san…he is so cute!" squealed Lenalee.

"Oh…My…God…he is so adorable!" Rhode squealed along with Lenalee.

Kanda frowned, "fucking Fan girls." He said the name 'fan girls' as if it was a curse…which it probably was.

"Will you be able to get him back to normal Doc?" questioned Lavi.

"I…I don't know Lavi. He had damaged his arm beyond repair so I gave him something that should help him slowly gain that ability back. It was the first time I ever made something like that so the side effects were infinite." Said Komui to the worried red-head, "But I think that in due time he will turn back to normal…I hope." He smiled sheepishly.

"Tyki…you are a bit quiet over there! Come over here! Ty…Tyki-oh!" Rhode shouted, "Look, look! He is waking up!" everyone turned. Allen opened his pale gray eyes.

"Nya…" he coughed, "N-n-n-nya?"

"Well shit…this ain't good Yuu-chan!"

"Fucking rabbit…and…Neko?" Kanda let a full fledged frown slip onto his face. That was never a good sign

A/N: OMG. So…I like mega sorry's for Kanda's OOC-ness. Dx. Forgiveness? Yes? Lolz you know I love 3 you all right? Yeah…felt the need to post that here. Ha-ha. Soo…plz review and all that wonderful shit that makes my day!

P.S: I do NOT intend to make Allen speak cat. That is too…annoying. I guess.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: good morning my wonderful readers! How are you today? Is it hot? Cold? Summer? Fall? Haha. Srry. Really tired. Um so I hate this chapter…a lot. If I could take it and throw it out the fucking window…all would be better! But you wanted a chappie. So here you go. Srry for any mistakes…I wrote this late at night on a school night. :) **

_Allen's POV _

_The hell! I can't speak dammit! _

I tried again, "Nya?"

_Shit, um…why cant I speak? And why do I say only 'nya'? this makes no sense!_

"Damn…what the hell happened to Moyashi-chan? He like…can't _speak_." Commented Lavi.

"Of course he can't speak dickweed," snapped Kanda irately. He looked back at me, "Moyashi…you can speak can't you?"

"Nya…Ny-a." I whimpered.

"See Yuu-chan! He can't speak." Lavi was being really dramatic and I could see it was getting on Kanda's nerves.

"Try again Moyashi." Ordered Kanda gruffly.

_Damn you Kanda! I can't speak damn you! If I could I would you asshole! I still haven't forgiven you. _I ranted in my head.

"Nya…damn. Oh!" I said out loud surprised. I looked at Kanda, hopeful.

"Che, better." Stated Kanda. I stared at him. 'better' what kind of crap was that?

"Nya…dammit Kanda." I growled.

"Ahem…" coughed Lavi. I turned blushing.

"Oh, sorry Lavi." I said smiling bashfully.

"S'Ok Allen-chan. Are you feeling better though?" he asked.

"Mmm…yeah…but mind telling me what the hell was wrong?" I wiggled in my bed, slightly uncomfortable.

"See for yourself." Lavi nudged Kanda to the side. He moved with a small grumble, turned at walked out the door. I frowned but smiled up at Lavi.

"Come on Allen-chan. Let's go." Lavi held out his hand. Giving a little laugh I took it and hauled myself out of bed. Walking down the hall with Lavi I found myself in my closet…

"Lavi…" I asked, "why are we here?" He pointed to the full length mirror.

"Look." Was all he said. Turning myself to the mirror I didn't notice anything…wait. I shifted sideways. I had _ears_. Not human ears…cat ears. They weren't that noticeable in my white hair but they were there.

"I have cat ears?" I gasped out.

"Yep. And a tail too I guess. See?" he pointed to the bugle in back of my pants. Unzipping and partially pulling down my pants and boxers I unraveled a white tail.

"Um…well…this is weird…" I grumbled to myself more then to Lavi.

"Yeah it is…you hungry?"

As if on queue my stomach gave a growl filling the small room.

"Yeah…I am…let's go!" I flicked my ears forward and began to walk to the kitchen Lavi in tow.

"Ow! Damn Allen. Those claws hurt!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Nya? I have claws?" I let him go seeing deep scratches on his hands and part of his wrist. "Oh…I'm sorry Lavi!"

He waved off my protest, "It is fine Moyashi-neko. Let's just go get you food. Chicken ok?"

"Yeah sure…that or…fish.." I followed him into my kitchen and after a while went to go wait in the dinning room. Not long after a plate of fish slammed down in front of me.

"Nya!" I exclaimed. I looked at the fish and the hand attached to it….

"What? You no longer hungry Moyashi?"

"Kanda…." I growled. Sudden anger took over me, "Why are you of all people here? Should you be out drinking and raping people?" I sneered.

_Slap_

My hand went to my reddening cheek and looked at Kanda in astonishment.

"You…You don't know how guilty I felt after I left!" he roared, "How sorry I was. I still can't believe I did that!"

"Well you did! And I cant ever forgive you for doing that! You betrayed me! How am a supposed to forgive you!" I wailed. I stood up forgetting my food and fled from the room. I ignored a call from Kanda to get me back to him. Running to my safe haven, my room, I locked the doors and jumped onto my bed letting the sobs consume me. The tears leaked down my face and ended on the soft gold pillow that Rhode had made for me. Still sniffling I sat up and reached into my drawer. I took out a small blade. Looking at the silver-ish gleam it gave off I placed it to my skin barely breaking it. Sighing I took the weapon away and placed it back in the drawer instead taking out an iTouch 3rd generation that I had got the past Christmas. Placing the white and gray buds in my human ears I turned it to my favorite song.

_It's hard to believe that it came to this_

_You paralyzed my body with a poison kiss_

_For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed_

_You thought that was the end of the story_

_Something inside me called freedom came alive_

_Living in a world without you_

_You told me my darling_

_Without me you're nothing_

_You taught me to look in your eyes_

_And fed me your sweet lies_

_Suddenly someone will stare in the window_

_Looking outside at the sky that had never been blue_

_Oh there's a world without you_

_I see the light_

_Living in a world without you_

_Oh there is hope to guide me_

_I will survive_

_Living in a world without you_

_It's hard to believe that it came to this_

_You paralyzed my body with a poison kiss_

_For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed_

_You thought that was the end of the story_

_Something inside me called freedom came alive_

_Living in a world without you_

_You put me together_

_Then trashed me for pleasure_

_You used me again and again_

_Abused me, confused me_

Sighing the song finished and I plopped back onto my tear fill pillow. The tears began to come back. Seeing no other option I took the blade back out and placed it once again to my skin. Instead of pressing down like I had last time I swiftly tore the blade across my skin hissing from the pain. The gash was deep but easy to be covered up with some bandages. Though it was small the blood oozed from it running down my pale arm. Sighing from the high I got from watching my blood flow from my body and from the sadness that had made me do this in the first place. Grinning I walked back out to the kitchen where I saw Kanda cleaning up some glass. It was broken. _It was probably when he tried to call me back…whatever. _I walked to the sink where we had kept most of the bandages to cover up our cuts. Still wearing the smirk I walk right past him grabbing the bandages and walked back out.

"Moyashi? What the fuck? Is that blood? Hey, Dammit Moyashi! Get you ass back here!" hearing him growl I felt a strong arm grab my shoulder.

"Hey! I would like to take care of my cut if you don't mind." I sneered.

"Dammit Moyashi! Did you fucking cut yourself again!" snarled the angered samurai. Pulling me into him I gave him my best glare.

"Kanda," I began in an icy tone, "please remove your hand from my body. Do. It. Now." I gave him a scowl. Dropping his hand in shock I shrugged out of his grasp and walked back to my room leaving him there. Sitting back on my bed I took the cloth and wrapped it around my gash making me hiss from the odd pain I felt. Opening the door once more I was surprised to see Kanda standing there with a frown on his face. Letting go of the roll of cloth I tried to slam it in his face but he was quicker. Stepping into the room he closed it beside him.

"Moyashi…" he began.

"No…don't even try Kanda." I threw up my hands, "You fucking _rape_ me and then want me to be all happy about it?"

"No…I want…"

"I don't care what YOU want! I was the victim! Not you! Did you get raped by the guy you **loved**? No I didn't think so. So please exit my room and get-"

I was cut off by a pair of chapped lips against mine. Jerking away I slapped him.

"What the hell Kanda! I want you to get the hell out of this-" again I was kissed by those same lips. This time however he grabbed both of my wrists and pushed me into a wall.

"Shut up." was all he said before his lips crashed against mine.

I began to struggle, to cry out for help anything. I wanted to get away. Breaking part for air I gasped out, "Why…why do you do this to me Kanda? Tell me?" I started crying again. Slowly my shirt was pealed from my body and soon after my pants. Taking little time to marvel at my body he placed three fingers at my lips.

"Suck." He commanded me.

Tears still streaming from my eyes, I took his fingers into my mouth and made them as wet as I could before he ripped them from my mouth tearing a part of my gums from the force. Not thinking about how much it would hurt, he thrust one finger in ignoring my cry of pain.

"Kanda…please…stop!" I cried out. But I was again ignored. Still pressed up against the wall I tried to get away from him but again…it was futile. I hissed in pain as he thrust another finger in. I felt the inside walls rip a bit and I cried harder. I was getting raped…again. From the man I loved.

"Please…Kanda…please sto-ah!" I groaned this time from the pleasure as he had found my prostate. Giving me a sadistic grin he rubbed against it more making me cried out in pleasure and almost cum. I arched my back ready to cum; however before I was able too the sense of pleasure was gone. Whimpering at the loss I looked up at him tears still evident in my eyes.

"Don't…don't stop Kanda!" I cried. I didn't want this…oh but it felt so good.

Feeling a rock hard, yet warm organ press against my stomach the tears once again started to flow from my watery silver eyes. I winced as Kanda flipped me so I was facing the wall and pressed the organ at my entrance. Not stopping he jerked his hips forward. I threw my head screaming out in agony. I could feel the inner walls rip and tear from the sudden intruder. I whimpered but Kanda either didn't hear me or chose not to. He pulled all the way out and thrust back in without any consent from me. I continued to stream tears but as he angled himself to hit my prostate my painful moans turned into ones of pleasure.

"Kan—ah—don't stop…oh gods…don't stop!" I moaned out.

All I got back in reply was low grunts.

"Kanda!" I cried out cumming on the wall after a hard thrust into my sweet spot.

"That's a good little whore." He whispered in my ear. The hands then disappeared and I whipped around to see him. Kanda…was gone. What?

"Allen-neko? Are you up? I heard yelling…" I heard Lavi say from my door. _Wait…what?_ I thought. I blinked my eyes. I was back on my bed, on the pillow, my arm wrapped up. I was fully dressed…not up against the wall…

"Yeah Lavi…I am fine. Please go away." I called out. _Was that all a dream? It couldn't have been? It felt so real! I need to talk to Kanda…I don't know…should I? I did…I don't know…ugh…stupid shit. _ Getting up I opened the door to see nothing. Sighing in relief I walked out to the kitchen to still see Kanda there, this time cooking.

"Hey…Kanda…" I said slowly.

"Moyashi." He nodded in my direction.

"Kanda…we…we need to talk." I said looking right at him.

"Shit? Really? Get you ass over here." He snapped out at me.

"Whatever. Not here. Somewhere else. Away from everyone else." I said evenly.

"Just kick them out. Not that hard." The tone didn't change.

"I can't…I am in a Neko state right now if you didn't know!" I snapped back at him, "we can just talk in my room it will be fine." With that I turned back and started walking back to my room, "Oh! Be there in 10 mins. Thanks!" I turned into my room and slammed the door. I didn't want to talk to that asshole of a rapper. But I had to no? I loved him no matter what I was thinking now…so I should talk to him…work things out with him… right? I sighed. I was so confused. I loved him…but he had betrayed me…by raping me. Tears welled up in my eyes but I fought them back when the door opened and closed with a snap.

"Kanda." I said not looking up.

"Moyashi…what the fuck did you need to tell me that was so important?" he growled.

The tears came back, "I am so mad at you!" I roared. Jumping up I hit him square in the chest.

He caught my hand and pulled me into him.

"I am sorry Aren…if I could make it up to you I would…but I can't. And for that I am regretful." He said in my ear. The tears overflowed; grabbing his shirt I buried my face in it.

"Kanda…I hate that I love you so much! Why can't we be a normal couple? Or enemies?" I wailed out.

"I don't know Moyashi…I don't know. But Shh…" he rubbed my back in circles comforting me and lulling me to sleep. Holding back the rest of my tears I looked at him right in the eyes.

"I think we should not be together Kanda." My voice cracked.

I was embraced in a warm hug, "Whatever you feel is needed Aren…you know I love you." I was enveloped in a warm sweet loving kiss. Sighing I pressed back lightly not wanting the kiss to be anything more. Breaking apart for air I felt him lick the bottom of my lip. Smiling softly I raised my injured hand to his cheek and traced the bones that I could see. I pulled him down onto the bed and snuggled into the bed with him, falling asleep in his strong arms, making me feel safer then I have even felt before. _No matter what…we are going to be together. No matter what. _With that last thought I was pulled into a sleep filled with fantasies that I hoped would one day come true.

**A/N: Hi there! How are all of you? Mad at me? (cassy I know you are so shut up.) yeah well sorry. I had finished this but it had a totally different ending and I didn't like it so I made a new one…plus this one is 3 pages longer! Yay! Good right? yep it is! Well it was almost midnight when I wrote this so I need to sleep…and I will be dead twm. Well…NIGHT! **

**~Allora**

**P.S: what other obstacles should I throw in Kanda and Allen's way? To make it fun. :) yeah leave a review or just PM me…something like that. And I still kinda not really don't need a beta…yeah…only if you guys think I really need one. **


	11. Chapter 11

Allen's POV

Two Weeks Later…

I was in the mist of putting on a hat when Kanda came strolling in.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked walking past me into the master bathroom.

"Putting on a hat what does it look like?" I snapped back at him. We had been this way for about two weeks now. Now that I think about it…we have been this way since I first turning into a neko and had that talk with Kanda…weren't things supposed to get better after taking with someone?

"Che, where are you going?" he said brushing out his long hair.

"The same place you are going dickhead, school." I was quickly getting annoyed with him. I couldn't miss school. Being a doctor wasn't something you can just skip out on.

"Like hell you are." I heard him growl. That only made me angrier, "It has been two fucking weeks Moyashi. You still have cat ears and the cat tail. There is no fucking way you are coming to school." Reappearing out of the bathroom he grabbed the hat off my head and tossed it across the room.

"Hey! I was using that!" I protested.

"You won't be needing it now." Kanda said with a frown, "so change and go back to bed."

I was about to protest once again when the doorbell rang. I went to go grab it but Kanda pushed me back and opened it himself.

"Lenalee? The hell are you doing here?" I heard him say.

"For Allen, so if you move I have something for him." she said sweetly. Too sweetly in my opinion. I backed up quietly but she had already seen me.

"Allen! Nii-san finished a part of it!" she came toward me happily.

"Part of it? What do you mean?" I was confused.

"Well, he cant get you back to normal all the time…but part of the time he can!" she said grabbing my arm and jumping up and down.

"Wha? Ok….um…how long?" I asked prying my hand from her grip.

"10 hours! Isn't that great!" she still jumped up and down.

"Lenalee, please calm down!" I snapped taking all my anger that was from Kanda out on her. She looked at me surprised and a little mad but she did calm down. Thank the gods. Walking away I sat on the couch. 10 hours? That is not a lot of time…but….

"Kanda…how long does school last?" I asked hopeful

"Che…about…8 or 9 hours…some shit like that." I could tell he didn't like this was going. Well…too bad for him right?

"Lenalee? Do you have the stuff?" I asked softly. I didn't want to make her any madder at me than she already was.

"Yes, it is here. Stay still" walking over to me she took out a small white syringe and took my arm.

"Why does your brother insist on using needles?" I asked.

"Dunno….he likes to I guess? Why?" she frowned.

"…I hate needles." I admitted.

"Oh…I am sorry. Well…it will be over in a little bit. Come here." She pulled me closer.

"Wha-ouch!" I shrieked, "That hurt. Why did you stab my neck with that thing!" I rubbed the sore spot softly.

"'Cause….I wanted to, and that is what you get for snapping at me buddy. Now…come on…oh…your ears are gone already?"

"What?" I patted my hair down feeling no ears what so ever, "cool! Now…we can go to school right?" I asked turning to Lenalee.

"Oh shit! I forgot about school! Uhh…bye Allen, Kanda!" she gave a wave to Kanda, who didn't even notice, and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. Of course…Kanda noticed that. Watching her leave I looked at Kanda,

"We are leaving?"

"Che, _I_ am leaving. If you want to come hurry up." as if to prove his point he started walking back to the door.

"Ah! Kanda! Wait!" I rushed around the house grabbing all my needed materials. Running after Kanda I almost hit him.

"Ah…Kanda, why the hell did you stop? You don't just stop in the middle of the sidewalk!" I ranted on. I had a feeling things were getting worse. All we did now was yell at each other.

"Che…." He said absently.

"Neh…Kanda…we gotta go to school…Kanda?" I was now worried.

"Che, we still have some time left before we need to leave," he turned towards me his eyes fierce with the tiniest, and I do mean tiny, like…the size of…an atom…that tiny, but I saw a tiny amount of pain. Or disappointment…I couldn't tell. It was too small, "Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked softly. Well softly for Kanda anyways.

"I haven't been avoiding you…" that was a lie if I ever heard one.

He stepped closer to me, "Liar. Tell me why the fuck you have been ignoring me for the past two weeks."

"You've been avoiding me too!" I shrieked.

"Lies. I just gave you some needed space," He stated calmly, that was bullshit. He was the one avoiding me! But…I did do my share of not talking to him unless I really needed to…so I was to blame for some of this I guess. The rest was on him though.

"Are you planning on telling me your answer?" he again asked.

"I…ah…oh look! We have to go to school! Come on…get in the car." I hurried toward the sleek black car that Kanda called his. But I used it now and then. Getting in the passenger seat I waited till we were on the main road before I answered his previous question, "Because if you remembered the talk we had two weeks ago…I said…we shouldn't be together…" I all but whispered.

He heard me all the same. Slamming on his breaks he looked at me, "What kind of bullshit is that? I never agreed to this! Bullshit!" he glared at me.

"Kanda…can you like…go faster? I want to get to school quickly. We are late as is." I looked back at him.

"Fuck you." He said to me but speeded up all the same, "Answer my question." He said eyes on the road.

"I…think it would be best…." I shrunk down in my seat. Right on time he pulled into the school as the first bell was ringing.

"Moyashi…ah…fuck" he banged his head against the steering wheel, "Why…ahh…just…get out."

What? What did he mean? "Wha-"

"Get out."

"Kanda…"

"_Dammint! Aren! Get the fucking hell out of my car!" _he yelled at me.

Feeling nothing but confused I hurriedly grabbed my stuff and stumbled out of the car barely closing the door before it sped off. Still stunned I walked toward my class my mind buzzing with questions. Why did Kanda yell at me? Why did he…ah…react that way when I said we shouldn't be together? I thought he didn't care? Did he really care? I didn't know…and now…

_**Bring-ring-ring-ring Bring-bring-bring-bring**_

Great…ok…time for school. Pushing all Kanda-related thoughts out of my mind I sat in my seat and focused on what I needed to do that day.

Kanda's POV

_Fuck…why did he say that? Did he not see I loved him? Like…a lot. I said I was sorry for what I did! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit…oh! Shit!_

Almost hitting another car I slammed on my break stopping with barely an inch to spare. Dammit. I needed to calm down…thinking about this now…it wasn't gonna help. Planning to skip school I went to back home to change into a loose shirt that was to come off when I got there, and my comfy pair of faux leather pants, I carefully grabbed Mugen, a bottle of water, and walked back out the door locking it behind me. Driving with utmost care, I really didn't want a repeat of earlier, I reached where I needed to go, the old kendo building.

Getting in with a key the owner had given me a while back I sat on one of the bleachers and stared at the empty place. Sighing I took off my shirt and grabbed the bandages I got out of the car wrapping them around my torso and ending them at the hem of my pants. Standing up I grabbed Mugen and closed my eyes, going through the motions of swinging the sword and slicing the air. Although my body was training my mind was chaos. I was still thinking about what Allen had said.

Why did it affect me so much? Did I really love him that much? I still knew next to nothing about the kid. All I knew was his name, personality and that he had one hell of a childhood. He never told me anything else. So why did I care? Was he that important to me? Why did I care for him? How did this start? Where were the times in high school when we hated each other so much that we had daily fights that were only stopped by Lenalee or me getting glomped by Lavi? What happened to them? Was it possible to go back? Frowning I opened my eyes and jumped forward tear Mugen through the air.

"Hah!" I yelled.

I did this…training and thinking for about an hour. I had accomplished nothing. I was still mad and confused more than that. Why was Allen so…stubborn? Locking up behind me I headed back to the car not even bothering to put my shirt back on. It was hot and I was sweaty. No fucking way. I sat in the hot car not bothering to turn it on just yet. Just as I was about to I got a text message.

_YUU-CHAN_

_From: Lavi_

_Want 2 go get something 2 eat? _

_I can tell something is up. Allen txtd me. _

_I'll pay if ya want. Just come. Plz? _

_from lovable bunny-Lavi_

_Che…that fucktard is gonna pay? Shit. Free food. I am going. _

_Fuck…I am getting free food. _

_I will be there. Where r we going?_

_From: Kanda(not yuu-chan)_

And I waited. Starting the car I made it out the parking lot and past the first main light before he replied.

_How 'bout…I will meet you at the really good Japanese restaurant? _

_That ok? Coolz meet u ther_

_from lovable bunny-Lavi_

I didn't even bother to respond. Turning left I traveled down to the meeting place, a restaurant by the name of: Pei Wei.

Yeah I know…Lavi calls it 'Japanese' but he doesn't really know anything. There is nothing in that small head of his. The place wasn't even Japanese of fucks sake. It is just Asian food. But they had soba, it wasn't good but bearable, so I really didn't care. I opened the front door to the place ready to walk in when an unknown _thing_ attacked me from behind.

"Yuu-chan! You came! Ya-fuck! Dammint that hurt Yuu~" whined the thing.

"Shut the fuck up! And don't call me Yuu or Yuu-chan" I seethed.

"Maaa! Well…what are you gon' get?" he said turning to look at the menu.

Was this fucker crazy? "What I always get dipshit. Soba." I growled at him.

"Don't be mean Yuu. What should I get? Oh never mind you won't answer it anyways…" he stepped up and gave a wink to the lady cashier.

"Hi…what can I do for you?" she asked with a small blush on her face.

"Well….can I have the Honey Seared with shrimp, a large drink, and…can I have you?" he asked grinned lopsidedly. I wanted to make a gagging sound but somehow I managed not to.

"Um…n-no sir you can't….h-h-have m-me." the cashier stuttered.

Lavi frowned, "Shame, oh well, can I have also a large Soba with nothing on it please?" I kicked the back of his leg, "Ouch! Ok, ok and hot tea too." Lavi said grumpily. Smirking I watched him pay and went to go find a table. It seemed to me that as soon as we sat down Lavi began speaking nonsense. So as I usually do I tuned him out…for the most part. Then came the interesting part of lunch.

"Allen wants to move out." Lavi stated blandly. I froze.

"What? No fucking way! I can't pay the rent all by myself!" I lied. I could. But Lavi didn't need to know that.

"You can find a way Kanda. Allen wants to move…to my house." He stared coolly at me. I was shocked. Because one Allen wanted to move. And two Lavi said my last name and not that stupid first one.

My head hit the table, "Fuck…" I groaned, "This is my fault no?" I looked back up to Lavi.

"Honestly I don't know…oh look! Food!" he squealed the last part. Sighing I began to eat knowing that even if he would take his time Lavi would finish what he started.

"Yummy. Yuu-chan! It is so good!" he looked at me grinning. Scoffing I took a sip of my warm tea and stared at him expectedly. Upon seeing me he sighing.

"Fine…I will talk now," he took another bite and a sip of whatever the hell he got; "I don't think this is your fault completely. I know for a fact he loves you. I really mean it Kanda, he loves you a lot. But…I don't know. You know how he is. Stubborn. Just like you. If you want to know more…well than talk to him ok? Don't yell at him Kanda," he said seeing my face, "He may look strong but that kid is fragile. If you want him to stay than take care of him." I frowned. I wanted Allen to stay…but I knew that the chances of me getting him to were slim. It was in Allen best interest if I told Lavi what had happened these past couple of weeks.

"If Allen does stay with you, watch him. As much as it pains me to say this, you are right. He is fragile. Very fragile in fact in these past couple of weeks…." I proceeded to tell him everything that had happened during break.

"Holy shit. All of that in a three week span? And most of it happened in the first week!" he exclaimed softly after I finished telling him.

"Yeah…" I pushed my empty bowl of soba to the side, "I am leaving." I said to him getting up.

"OK…I should get going too. Nice seeing you again Yuu-chan" I nodded in reply. Leaving him behind I got back in the car and drove home, not breaking a single traffic rule like a usually do. Parking the car I opened the door to the apartment that would soon be just mine. Sighing I closed the door and walked into my bedroom laying down on my back and thinking. In the silence that followed I heard a small whimper. Sitting up I listened to see if I could hear it again. And I did. It was from Allen room. Getting up I walking over to his single room and slowly opened the door.

Allen's POV

Finished with the more important classes I texted Lavi if he could pick me up. Getting a positive reply I waited for him. Walking along the sidewalk I kicked random rocks off onto the road and watched as cars drove over them. Faster than what I expected Lavi came and dropped me back off at home. The ride was uneventful. For the most part. I told him that I wanted to move and was looking for a new place to go. Proposing that I could stay at his house I agreed and that was it. Though as soon as I got home I went into my room and sat there. Why was I moving? I didn't need to. Kanda and I never really saw each other. What would be the difference now? Was it because I didn't want to see his saddened face again? Was is because I knew I loved him and didn't want to? Why? Frowning I got up and grabbed a book with the title _City of Ashes_. Laying back on the bed I began to read it. I was so lost in my own world that I didn't even notice the headache I had until it hit me full blow.

Groaning my hands flew to my head. At the same time my lower back started to ache. Looking at the clock with some difficulty I saw that my 10 hours were up. Another wave of pain hit me. Tears collected at the bottom of my eyes. Crying I raked my nails along my scalp trying to remove the source of pain. I couldn't do anything about my back though. Whimpering and with tears flowing down my face I endured the pain as quietly as I could. Even the softest sound hurt me.

When my door opened I didn't even think to see who it was. The only thought that ran through my mind was the pain. How loud the sound was. After the sound of the door reached my ears the rest was a blur. I could feel myself getting carried but I paid that no mind. It was only the fact that I was placed on a soft bed with fluffy pillows that stuck in my pain filled mind. I didn't notice the pair of large rough hands prying my own hands from my head and placing them next to me. I didn't notice the same pair of hands stroke my hair in a soothing motion. All I felt was the agony. With one last wave of pure torture it ended. Exhausted I looked up and my pillow. It was Kanda. In some part of my brain I knew I should get away. Run away. Do anything so I wasn't near him. But at the point in time I was in the other part of my brain dominated. The part that said that he was safe. He made me feel warm. So with conflicting emotions I fell into a zombie like sleep not even waking up when Kanda had laid down next to me.

A/N: hello People that read this! How are all of you doing on this wonderful day? Bad? Good? Happy? As for me…I am feeling exuberant! If that is even a word…ha-ha. Well I am deeply sorry it took me so long. I was planning for this chapter to be happy and funny, like a filler so I could get to the juicy stuff. But as most of you should know if you read other people A/N's that the story gets away from what you want it to be sometimes. That is what happened here. I think…I think that this is my longest chapter! Yay! Happy day! Hehe! Anyways please review. And favorite. But reviews are much nicer. If you could…leave a review before you favorite me! Just a simple one is fine. You don't really have to explain why you liked it or anything. just a 'Good story! I like it. Update soon' is just fine. Or if you do have something to say that is good too.

_**SOMETHING I MUST SAY!**_ So…..I know most people say 'don't flame me it is my first story' I now will say this. Flame me. I honestly do not care. It is your way of saying what you think is wrong. Be it my writing style (if you flame me on that I will agree…I swear…my writing style is god awful!) or my spelling anything. just remember that I am only in 8th grade or age wise I am only 12 years old. Soon to be 13. so think about that before you flame. And if you have good words that I could use then I will love you forever! …..this is a long Author's Note isn't it….ok I am done. thxs for reading and plz review! Even if it kills you….ok…maybe not that…but you get the point.

~Allora!


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: whoa…I think I like never have A/N's before the story…well…first time for everything right? Lolz. But I have something important to say! And it is…..ah…never mind. I will tell you at the end. But I do want to say thank you to everyone who has read, review, favorite/alerted this story. And I want to have a shout-out to:**_

_**Lenalee182: I know I need to improve. And my sentence flow may not make sense to you. But thanks you a lot for saying that I was pretty good for a writer my age. And to be honest…I don't have my chapter prewritten…and I think I suck at updating…I didn't update for 2 weeks! But I guess it isn't that bad I guess…anyways thank you and please keep reading. **_

_**HarryandGinnyForever: is that your username for everything? And thanks for reading it bug. It means a lot to me! See you at school! Aha! **_

Allen's POV

Groaning I decided…I was going through with my plan of moving out. Opening my eyes I was met with the most beautiful sight ever. Kanda sleeping. Now…he is hot when he isn't sleeping, never mind the frown I found that kinda cute, but him sleeping was a whole other story. His hair was down, for one, not in the high ponytail that it was usually kept in. his face was devoid of any frown, wrinkle, or smirk that graced his face during the day. Instead it was serene, calm…angelic looking. Sighing I almost gave up getting out of bed and packing…_almost_.

Climbing soundlessly out of the bed I grabbed a few pairs of clothes and toiletries and ensued to carelessly stuff it in an overnight bag. Looking at the time I saw it was only fifteen minuets past eight in the morning. Thinking I had some time left I went into the kitchen, for what I thought was the last time, and made myself a minuscule breakfast, which consisted of 4 pieces of toast and a cup of cinnamon coffee. Munching on my breakfast I heard a small almost indistinct sound. Stopping all movement I slowly turned my head to see Kanda standing there, hair still down, dressed in only a pair of night pants and currently rubbing his eyes.

"What the hell? What time is it?" he asked sleepily, waking over.

I looked back at the clock seeing that it was almost eight forty-five.

"Quarter till nine Kanda." I said shortly. I saw him give me a sad look but said nothing. He walked closer to me and took a piece of toast leaving me with only 2 pieces left.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, a bit upset that he stole my already microscopic breakfast.

He looked coolly at me, "You are really leaving aren't you." He said it more like a statement than a question.

"Yes…" I said slowly, "I believe I need to Kanda…I think it is for the best." I lowered my head expecting a harsh reply or some sort of outburst from him. Upon not hearing or receiving a hit to the head I took a peek up to look at him. He was still looking at me, but now it was a defeated look that was in his eyes. I wanted to comfort him…to hug him…to make him feel better at all cost. But I didn't. I ate my toast and got up to put the plate I had dirtied in the sink to wash.

"I don't want you to leave." Kanda said to me as I walked by.

Mentally sighing I looked at him willing my resolve to not break, and hoping my heart could take it.

"Kanda…I am leaving you. Ok? We were really never together. I don't what I am to you…but I don't think I am that important. I still…I think I still love you but I need time to think ok?" I looked away shamefully.

All I heard was a small sigh and a small ok before I heard him walk away. Frowning I finished packing and grabbed my silver Motorola Droid(1) and dialed Lavi's number. It answered on the fifth ring.

"_Hey Lavi…it is me, Allen." _

"_**Oh…hey buddy! What do you need? You do need something don't ya?**_

"_Um…could I possibly move in today? I know it was short notice…I mean we just agreed to it yesterday and-"_

"_**You just can't stand it anymore can you?**_

"_No…not really…sorry if it is too much trouble….thanks Lavi." _

"_**No problem! Pack whatever you want…everything…nothing…it doesn't matter. I will be there to pick you and your sh- I mean stuff up in about an hour or two. Can you live? **_

_Sigh…. "Yea I guess I can…thanks again Lavi. Bye. _

"_**Bye Allen-chan"**_

I hung up after him and placed the phone on the countertop. Looking down I saw I was still in my night clothes. _Maybe I should take a shower…or a bath. _Walking back into the room I saw Kanda sitting on the bed with his everyday glasses on, reading the book _The Clockwork Orange_. Grabbing the needed materials for showering I walked into the bathroom locking the door for good measure. Turning on the shower I began to strip and waited for the shower to heat up. When it was ready I stepped into the hot downpour and relished at the feeling it gave me. Taking my time I reached for the vanilla scented soap, that only I used, and began to lather up, scrubbing every inch of my body. Rinsing off I washed my hair with a vanilla scent shampoo and rinsed with the same scent only conditioner. Stepping out I quickly toweled my hair dry before stepping into my clothes and getting out of the bath room letting all the steam release into the bedroom.

"Sorry…" I apologized to Kanda who gave me a small glare.

"Che…" was all I got. He went back to reading, not giving me a second glance. Frowning I pack the little thing, my shampoo, conditioner, soap, and other bathing necessities. Looking back at Kanda I saw he hadn't moved, still reading the same damn book. Finally I snapped, kinda…well…in a _way_…

"Kanda," I said. His head didn't move, "Kanda…I…I am sorry you know." I looked back at him to see that he was calmly staring at me.

"I…I really don't know what I am to you Kanda…I just…I cant take it anymore…" tears welled up in my eyes. I willed them away but it didn't work, "I loved you…hell I **still** love you! But I don't know if you love me back…I am sorry." My eyes closed letting the few tears run down. Those 'few' tears so turned into more and I found myself silently crying. I was about to bring my hand up to wipe the tears away when a calloused yet soft hand wiped each and every tear away one by one.

"K-Kanda?" I hiccupped.

"Mmm?" he looked at me.

"Um…why…why did you do that?" I asked, a faint blush apparent on my milky white skin.

"Moyashi…I…um…shit," he took a step back and looked away scratching the back of his head, "I…I am sorry. I didn't know you felt that way?" in the end it sounded like a question. Despite the fact that I had told him how I felt before, I found the apology endearing. Taking that one step I wrapped my mismatched arms around him, new tears forming.

"I…it is ok Kanda…but I still need to leave." I said with determination. All I got in response was a nod of his head before he kissed me. If my memory remembers correctly, this kiss was unlike any other. Though I could be wrong. It wasn't needy, or lustful. It didn't hold want, or desire. And it surprised me. This kiss held…this kiss was….love. In his own Kanda way he was telling me he loved me. In his own way he was saying that he loved me enough to let me go. I slowly kissed him back, not applying any pressure, keeping the kiss sweet. Even when I granted him access into my mouth we kept things slow, loving, and sweet. Breathless from the more than addicting kiss I pulled away and snuggled into his chest, enveloping myself in his smell. He smelled of Old Spice and leather. How long we stayed like that I didn't know, all I know is that it was when Lavi rang the doorbell that we broke apart. He helped me grab my stuff and walked me to the door. When I was about to open it I was engulfed in another kiss. This too was unlike him. And unlike any other kiss. I could put a name on it then…but as time progressed I came to know that it meant 'sorry'.

"Bye Kanda." I said opening the door to reveal Lavi, all smiles and grins.

I grinned back, "Hey Lavi," walking outside. He stopped me and took my bags from my hand leaning in close.

"Go say a real bye to Kanda, kid." He said to me before turning around and walking back to the car. Smiling like the idiot I assure I was not, I went back to Kanda and hugged him.

"Bye Kanda," I said again looking up at him, "See you later?"

A shocked expression crossed his face, "Che…yeah…whatever. Um…bye Moyashi." He pressed me closer to him and kissed the top of my head before shoving me gently away and stalking back in the apartment, leaving me with a small grin plastered on my face.

"Yo! Allen buddy! Get in the car already." Yelled Lavi from the driver's seat.

"Ok, Ok…" I said taking my seat in the passengers seat, "um…Lavi? Where is Tyki? Did you fire him or something? And…this is the same car you used to drive…" I gave him a puzzled look.

Lavi let out an amused chuckle, "Tyki is at home Al buddy! And I don't like to drive that…freaking expensive looking car unless I have somewhere important to go to." He explained slowly. I nodded in reply. The rest of the car ride was in silence. A comfortable silence. I was off in my own thoughts, about Kanda…and school….school….oh _shit_. I turned to look at Lavi, "what am I going to do about school?" I asked just a tad worried. And it only grew when Lavi looked at me like I was insane.

"You still go there? Dang…I dropped out. Too much. I am fine with being a librarian." He gave me a reassuring smile. It didn't help at all.

I gave him a hard glare, "Lavi…what am I going to do for school? For one I still have cat ears and two," I looked at him in shock, "you don't want me to go do you?" I accused.

He scratched the back of his head, smiling sheepishly, "It isn't that I don't want you to go…but you don't need to…you are smart as is…why do you need to go to school? Kanda never goes…I dropped out…and Lenalee only goes to make her brother happy." He said gazing at me. I felt an angry flush materialize on my face.

"Just because you don't want to do something good in your life doesn't mean I don't!" I shouted at him. Huffing I turned to look out the window, watching the scenery go by. _Stupid idiot! I need to go to school…I promised Mana that I would finish school and become a doctor! _I shoved back the tears that were about to overflow. I wasn't going to cry over something so trivial like this. Mana took me in…cared for me…watched me grow up…and died before I turned the age of 15. Then his 'best friend' and now my 'legal guardian' Marian Cross raised me. I shuddered ignoring the look Lavi gave me. I hated that man…he did things…I shook my head. _No, no! Don't think of that now you dumbass! Later, later! _ Focusing back on the scenery I didn't realized I had fallen asleep until we had gotten to the house and Lavi was shaking me awake.

"Allen-chan…get up…come on. You can sleep when we get back into your room!" called Lavi gently shaking my shoulder.

Groaning I looked up and saw it was the same house as before…I was kinda hoping for a cool mansion or something. Still half-asleep I carried my things up into my room, a different one from before, and fell onto the bed already deep in the sleep I longed for before I even hit the pillow.

Kanda's POV

I watched Allen leave from the window. No longer seeing the car I walked back into my room sitting on the bed, thinking. We apparently needed space…_he_ needed space…so I was going to give it to him. Taking the silence as welcome I took out my college notebook and began to study. We had Midterms coming up and no matter what I was going to ace it…studying never hurt anyone. Going through my notes I realized that we never really took any. My notebook was filled with 3D boxes and swords…little pieces of notes scattered here and there. Groaning I threw the book to the ground. Going to school to be an undercover cop was not the most fun I had ever had. In fact, it was boring as hell. All I did was sit there listening to the instructor drone about not getting caught…and blah, blah, blah. That is why never came. Yet I still was acing the class. Odd no? Not really…I just found it easier. And on the plus side after Midterms were done I would get to work in the field. Going on small jobs. Some said that the first job was giving people tickets but I doubted that greatly. It seemed that the kind of cops we were being trained to become weren't ticket giving cops. To me it felt like we were being trained into the kind of cops that went into drug deals to catch the dealer and all that shit. To be honest…I was hoping that was the kind of cop we were being trained to be. If it was any other kind I would probably end up killing the instructor for making me believe otherwise. Not very please with my thoughts of school I grabbed Mugen to go in the training area in the apartment complex. I wasn't looking for a hard workout. All I needed was to get my mind off school and onto my sword practicing. Walking across the yard and into the building, it was conveniently close, I took Mugen out of its sheath and began to go through the routine. Slice here, dodge and duck, sweep leg out, stab. I went over many other combinations that I had either made up myself or when I was sparing with…the Moyashi. Groaning I sat down not done with the workout but knowing I wouldn't start again. I wanted him back. I missed him goddammit! I was going to go to bring him back but I stopped…he needed space…and I was going to try and give it to him. As much as I could. Sighing I got up and went back to the apartment taking a cold shower and walking into the clean kitchen to get more soba.

_**A/N: oh! Ok! That really good thing I wanted to tell you! I am bi! Yea…not that good…it depends on how you look at it…ok…so like this is what happened. I have a really big crush on one of my best friends and I didn't want to say anything so I told my best friend Cassy. She kept telling me to tell her and I didn't want her too. So when my OTHER friend Shelly looked at my profile and saw all the shit I had on there she figured out who it was. But I made her promise to not tell this person. So on Wednesday the…13**__**th**__**…or something close to that…Cassy made me tell her. so on like the morning of she told me she knew already and so that made me really happy…so I told my best guy friend Hayden and he was ok with it. And then I told my mother figure, my best friend Laura and she told me almost a quote "so you finally figured it out." -_- she knew…before I did…she knew I like this person and she knew I was bi before I did….wow…see…I have awesome friends…anyways…I gots something else to say. And then on the 26**__**th**__** I had a fight (kinda) with her…so I like her A LOT and she knows that…but she doesn't like me back. Problem….I swear we act like we are together. I always hug her, snuggle with her, and now ever now and then (when we think there is no one around) we hold hands. Cute right? yeah…if she liked me back. If only. *sigh* so now the fight made me ignore her for almost all day (tht is a long time if you are me) so I went up and hugged her saying I was sorry…and in the car we held hands again….the hell do I do? (I swear…I tell you everything…haha. Cuz only two of my real life friends read this. The rest of you I don't know and so eh…) **_

_**What do you want to happen to Kanda and Allen? I mean they are getting back together…but I want to hurt and torture them just a bit more! **_

_**So good night everyone! See you next time I post! Which may not be soon….I got straight B's this quarter and now my mom wants 4 A's out of me….so that means less time to write! Sorry… D: **_

_**~Allora**_


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: SORRY GUYS! I am grounded and wont post for a long time. Blame school. Really. I got suspended. They found part of this story on my flashdrive that my friend left in the room and I wasn't in school for a week. And even if I didn't. I wouldn't be posting. I have Writer's Block and can only focus on editing this story. A lot. I lost a huge part of my editing but I just found it! So the first chappie revamped should be up when I find time! Yay! Sorryz again. D: I know what it feels like to have a story put on Hiatus. D: GOMEN-NE!


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